Well. That's That.

I find it interesting that the four people who commented on the post about The Bloggies were last year's winners. And most likely the only four people who read my blog.

I really think I'm a good writer. I am entertaining, charming, witty, cynical, and myself. I think I am better than cJane and NieNie and she was on Oprah!

What does it take to get your name out there!

Come one my four readers! Spread the word!

Bloggies

I bet you remember the Blog Awards I gave out last year. Especially if you received one, or were sour for not receiving one. Well, my amigos, that time is nigh at hand to once again recognize some of you. I was prompted by a potential Bloggie winner that you deserve a heads up. Can't argue there. So, the categories this year are (along with their explanations):



Drumroll.

Cymbal crash!!



Most Suspenseful Blog

I like a post that keeps me reading. That doesn't tell the whole story in the first sentence. That has a touch of foreshadowing. I little mystery. You know?



Least Updated Blog

I'll have to go through the blog logs to award this one. This is strictly mathematical. A prize for the slacker I suppose. A bloggie that goes out to someone who most likely would never receive one. Kind of like picking a chubby girl as your base runner just so she feels good about herself.



Most Thought-Out Commenter

It's not too late to get some brown nosing in here, folks.



Best Pictures

A repeat from last year, I know I know. Here's the rocks- stone me.

Impressively Improved

Everyone has to start somewhere. This we know. What is often NOT discussed is every ones also has to end somewhere. This award is for a person who is really going places with their blog. Maybe they started out on the wrong side of the tracks- but they're heading up now.

Alrighty. Awards will be awarded at the awards ceremony at the end of December. Start campaigning!

The Helpless Human

Last night I was getting The Kolester ready for bed. Dad had decided that he was tired and needed some down time before getting up early to go to Salt Lake. Reasonable. So, I feed the bottomless milk tank Kole stores in his abdomen. I get up and pat his back to get a burp out. I'm walking around the living room where Ken is reading and he says, "Will you turn on the big light?" Sure. I hoist my 20 pound three month old onto one arm so I can turn the knob to turn the lamp on. Click. Click. On. Patting the back and out comes some gas. The bath stuff isn't ready so I balance Kole in one arm and gather up the tubby, a towel, the baby body wash, powder, bag balm, a fresh diaper, wipes, wash rags, a onesie, and his zippy jammas. I'm carrying all this PLUS Kole, mind you. I'm walking through the living room into the kitchen and Ken says, "Will you bring me a spoonful of cookie dough?" Sure. I set Kole on the counter... don't call Child Protective Services on me. He can't really move yet. I grab the container of cookie dough and a spoon and bring it in to Ken. "Oh, I just wanted one spoonful." My nerves are getting just slightly rattled as I reply, "Well when you're done you can just set it down. Eat what you want." I'm walking back to the kitchen when the voice of my darling husband stops me. "You know what would make this snack perfect? Milk!" Being the intellectually gifted individual I am- I sense this is a hint to bring him milk. Which I do. Begrudgingly. Then I get the bath running. I get Kole undressed. I get peed on. I get Kole in the water and I start scrubbing the stink off of him. (His major stink areas are under his multiple chins and beneath the rolls that are behind his ears.) I'm about one third of the way through the process when ringing so sweetly in my ears I hear: "Hey hon? Will you bring me some socks? My feet are getting cold. Oh! And some water?"
"Ken, I'm right in the middle of Kole's bath. Can it wait?"
"Well, how long will it take you to finish?"

Not a good question to ask, Ken. Not a good question.

"Well, Ken, the bath will take about 5 more minutes. Then I'm going to read him a story. Then I'll put him down for the night. Soooo... 20 minutes? You might want to get your own socks if you are really cold."

"Ah. nah. I'll wait for you."

Isn't he just the sweetest? I get Kole down. It does take about 20 minutes to get through the whole routine. I go into our bedroom and Ken is in the bathroom now taking out his contacts. I'm changing and he says, "Will you get me that glass of water now?"

The following conversation ensued:

P: (having reached her limit) Can you get it yourself? I spend all day taking care of a helpless human being.
K: But I can help myself.
P: Great! That's what I like to hear! So, go get your own stinking glass of water.
K: I don't think you understand I can help myself.
P: Why do you think I don't understand that?
K: You wouldn't be helping a helpless human being you'd be helping a human who can help himself.
(Both start laughing)
P: Pretty sure I get it. Do you get what you are saying?
K: Yes. And I am presenting you with an opportunity to serve a fellow human being.
P: Oh that's rich.

I don't get his reasoning. Ever.
But I did get him his water.
Because I love him.

It's hard not to.