Cards Out

Lately, I feel like I have the body of a 28 year old and the mind capacity of a 98 year old.  Scratch that.  Body of a 68 year old... mind capacity of a  98 year old.
The wrinkles are getting deeper.  The skin is drying out.  Loosing it's flexibility.  My hair is gray.  Again.  I dyed it...oh...two weeks ago?  Could have been cheap dye.  Thoughts to ponder.  When I wake up all my joints are stiff.  I often fall over for no reason.  Like my knees just give out.  That's normally at 3 AM when I am stumbling (literally) into Joey's room to feed him.  I just feel old.  And it's starting to show.
I'd like to blame it all on the kids.  But Kole is pretty much Wonder(fully Behaved) Boy.  Always sweet.  Always tender.  Always caring and sensitive.  Maybe a little thick on the sensitive, actually.

Story to illustrate point:
You know that high-five game?  "Gimme five.  On the side.  Up high.  Down low.  Too slow!"  I thought of it and figured Kole's a kid.  He loves giving high-fives, I'm gonna teach him that game.  So I'm walking it through it.  "Gimme 5!"  *slap and smiles* "On the side!" *slap and bigger smiles* "Up high" *big slap and giggles* "Down low"  He goes to slap.  I move my hand.  "Too slow!"  I start laughing and Kole crumbles to the floor.  Sobbing.  I'm, naturally, confused.  "What?" Through tears he says, "I'm not too slow, Mom."   

And as for Joey.  Eh.  He's so rewarding and happy during the day, I often forget he is possessed after the sun goes down.  Often waking up on the hour and howling maniacally.  Last night I was going to let the crap hit the oscillator.  I was going to wake up and feed him once then leave him to his own demise until morning.  But, the little squirt slept all night.  Well all night minus one 3 AM feeding... but that was the torture I had set up for him.  I just can't get inside this guy's head.   

I think the aging problem is two fold.  One being lack of sleep.  I want to hire a babysitter for a day just so I can sleep.  Uninterrupted.  I think I could go a firm 36 hours.  Number two would be The Mystery Head ache.  5 weeks ago I got a head ache on the inner tip of my left eyebrow.  I've had it ever since.  Medication doesn't make it go away.  It is constantly there.  All day.  All night.  No relief.  According to my (ex) endocrinologist it is not related to my brain tumor.  But I've come up with just about every other reason you'd get a head ache and every way to make it go away and nothing helps.  Sometimes I get what I call "A Double Headache."  (Which.  PS.  Ken says is impossible.)  But it's when my normally annoying and painful headache is there and then the rest of my head hurts from normal things like crying babies and whining kids and loud trucks and solicitors.  Next Wednesday I've got an appointment to see a neurologist.  I'm hoping he'll help turn back the clock a little.  
Because...

Not only are my looks fading.
I've been getting tutorials from my little sisters on how to use Pinterest, Facebook, Blogger, Instagram, hashtags (which I still don't understand) ...wait... could that be hash tagged... like #stilldon'tunderstand.  Is it just anything as long as you don't put spaces in it?  I'm so confused by it.  And I'm still learning how to use my phone. That is 2 years old.  It flips open.  And doesn't have a keyboard.  Just digits.  Might as well give me my AARP card.  I deserve a 10% discount on lunches for all my embarrassment.

I was trying to find a picture of me suffering.
But I couldn't.
Isn't he just kissable?