Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009 Blog Awards

I go onto these blogs and they get these "awards." Who dished out these "awards?" Why aren't they reading my blog? My blog is award worthy. Most def.

So, I've taken it upon myself to dish out some Awards. As 2009 comes to an end it seems the most appropriate time. Plus, it will give everyone something to strive for in 2010. Yes, this will be an annual event. Maybe next year we'll dress up and have fancy drinks.

The 4 awards are:

Yeah, I made these up. But c'mon. You people deserve something.

Let's commence.


This year's Best Commenter Award goes to.......: Karlenn Smith

Seriously people, have you read this girls comments? They are thought out. They are full sentences with correct capitalization, punctuation, and grammar. PLUS, in all of three to four sentences she can comment, uplift, and share a personal insight from her own life! It's amazing.

The Positively Optimistic Blog Award goes to........ : Brett and Tiffany

This gal is always on the go. Running her kids to all kinds of cool events, making crafts, putting on plays... it's a whirlwind of excitement. And I have never in the 16 months I've been blogging heard her say one negative thing. I admire that. My blogs are normally complaints. It's what I feel like writing. But I love going on to Tiffany's blog and getting a little pick me up. It's like a vacation. A blog vacation. A blog-cation.

Best Photos, hands down, goes to..... : Megan Blethen

Megan is a photographer by nature. Her eye is impeccable. She can capture life's tiniest and most meaningful moments. The photos on her blog are gorgeous. Everything and everyone looks so soft and fresh. I love going on there and just browsing through old posts to see all the different pictures. She is very talented.

And finally, the award for The Most Intriguing Blog goes to... : Julia Marcum

Julie blogs every once in a while. She's not an every day post-er. She doesn't blog about what her and the hubs had for dinner. She doesn't update us on every week of her pregnancy. She doesn't fill us in on date nights. But let me tell you, when she blogs- it is solid gold. I never know what it is going to be about but it. is. GOOD! They are thought out and really beautifully written. She writes in a simple and witty style. She jokes about herself and shares childhood memories. It's a real treat to go on and read it. I'd ask her to post more- but I think that would take away some of the specialness.

We'd like to thank all the winners and their supporters for coming out tonight. It was truly a night to remember. Feel free to post an acceptance speech.

And for those of you going home empty handed... 2010 is a new year.
Don't hang your head too low.

Monday, December 21, 2009

My First Born

Rusty will once and forever be the first born unto Ken and Patty.

I'm a real stickler on discipline and not spoiling kids. I abhor it. I find undisciplined children completely intolerable. I also have come to the conclusion that undisciplined children are always spoiled. Yes, I used the infinite term "always." Now, you know I have no children of my own- so you might think I'm just rude. You may think I don't know what I am talking about. I don't know how hard it is. Maybe so. Maybe not. I still think kids have it too easy these days and their parents make it that way.

With a little turkey on the way, Ken and I have been talking a lot about how we want to raise our children. This is a big topic to cover. We have some really different views. But one thing we agree on:

Don't raise them how we raised Rusty.

Rusty has a set of rules. I've taped these rules to the fridge. Rusty can't read or speak English but when he's bad I march him right over to the rules and read them out loud to him. He doesn't care. He's only got one (relatively short) life to live and by georgey he's going to live it the way he wants. Rules be damned! Parents be damned!
Exhibits A-D:
Rule #1: No sleeping on the furniture.
Rule #5: Stay off the windowsills.
Rule #11: Don't talk back to your mother.
(Notice how Ken is doing such a great job of parenting there in the background.)
Rule #5: No people food.
Perhaps I am destined to be a horrible, sloppy-ruled mom after all.

Monday, December 7, 2009

What You All Knew

So, I'm pregnant, right? I've read What to Expect When You're Expecting (50+ times). I've searched, downloaded, and read every article on WebMD about pregnancy, I've thumbed through magazines, I've done my research. Thoroughly. And the conclusion my research has lead me to is, nothing tells you what really happens. And no ONE tells you! Sure when you are expressing your un-ending agony I get the nods. The "Oh, I know"s. But why? Why didn't any of you tell me what was going to happen to me? Why?

Sure, What To Expect said that my chest would most likely increase in size over the first few months and I may experience some tenderness.
You could have told me that my boobies would grow out of the D-cup they were already occupying in a space of 2 weeks and get really, really heavy. I'm talking they feel like they are 50 pounds. A piece! And that I would be nipping out all the time! Ouch! You could have told me. You knew!

I read that morning sickness could come at any time during the day. And last for several hours.
You could have told me that it goes beyond those limitations. It comes. It sets up camp. It refuses to leave. No amount of ginger tea, peppermint, or Saltines can take it away. And it's more than feeling sick. You knew this! You knew that it would encompass and in most ways end my entire life. No more food, sleep, or comfort. Just a constant, nagging, horrible feeling. And nothing on my neck. What the heck is that about? That wasn't in any book. It should read: Be warned that any time there is any article placed on or near your clavicle you will feel a strong desire to vomit. Did you know this would happen? Why didn't you tell me?

I read that I would begin to feel a swelling in my stomach though I won't show for another month or so.
Um... I can't button my pants. I'm 8 weeks and I can't button my pants. Could have used a heads up on that one. It feels like I ate my way through Chuck-a-Rama. That's how full my stomach feels. Even though, I know it's nearly completely empty. I haven't eaten a meal in weeks. You knew that I wouldn't be able to fit into my clothes this early and decided to wait to say something until I brought it up. How could you?

I read that sleeping will eventually become uncomfortable and it will become best to lay on your left side.
By eventually did they mean after 60 days? Because when I lay on my right side... I pass gas... all night. It's uncomfortable and it hurts. It hurts like someone is pinching me on my belly. When I lay on my back, I wake up all crampy. When I lay on my left I am face to face with Ken's stinky breath (you couldn't have predicted that, I know.) But, seriously, you knew. And you remained silent.

Now. I am hoping that as you are reading this you are thinking "She has no idea what she is in for." Because, guess what!? I don't. This is baby number one for me. It's all new, freaky, and scary. But, guess what else? You do know. You know exactly what I am in for. Because you HAVE done this before. And so far you have been pretty tight-lipped about what happens. Time to open the flood gates, ladies. Let it all out.
Then, I won't feel like such a crying whanny when I complain about what's happening to me and you give me a reassuring pat on the back and tell me it happened to you too.

Would be nice to know ahead of time.
Just saying.


When I was in school I was in the Gifted program. You know, where all the super super smart kids go. That was me. I would go to my Gifted classes and do harder work than what I had to do in my regular classes. I hated it. Why would someone want to leave an easy class for a hard one? My Gifted teacher Mrs. McCullen told me that I needed to stimulate my mind. I was in this class with seriously the super super smart kids and they would be loving these worksheets and calculations and I would be like... "How do you do this?"

I told my mom I wanted to quit Gifted because I wasn't smart. Ma mere told me that sometimes people are in Gifted because they think and see things differently than other people. So, if I didn't feel as smart as the other kids in there I must be one of the ones that think differently.

Today I want to share proof that I never should have been in the Gifted program.

I learned 2 things recently:

1. The phrase is "Nip it in the bud."
Not, as I have been proclaiming for 25 years, "Nip it in the butt." I thought "nip it in the butt" spank it in it's little butt so it stops doing that. Makes sense. Or made sense until I got into an argument with Ken over what the real phrase is. Apparently, you should nip it in the bud. Before it blooms into a flower (or a real problem.)

2. Skunks are nocturnal.
This may not seem huge. But I was honestly thinking about how I have seen a good share of animals in my life time. All the regular ones at least. And I thought, I've never seen a skunk. I know that they live in Idaho. I see their sad rotting carcasses on the highway on my way to work. I've thought, How are there these dead skunks, at least once a week, and I never see a single one? Yeah. They are nocturnal. As in only come out at night. Like gerbils, owls, and raccoons. How did I miss that? Too busy thinking differently I suppose.

If that's not proof enough for you, know that it was proof enough for me.

I hereby, remove myself from the Gifted Program.

That feels better. A huge load off my shoulders.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Day Graham Crackers Saved My Life

I have been feeling so stinking sick I can hardly walk… let alone work, sleep, or function as a human being. I’ve been going through Saltines like crap through a goose and was even starting to struggle with them. 3 whole boxes is overkill, probably. But I had no idea how else to appease this monster. It is constantly in my throat. Threatening to throw up on a client, on the person next to me at church, on Ken, on Rusty, on the mailman. Who ever is the closest would get it. And get it bad. I can have nothing on my neck. No necklaces, high-button shirts, turtlenecks, even something brazing my neck (like a collar)… egck. I just claw at it constantly. CONSTANTLY! I wake up in the middle of the night (miserable) and I am clawing at my neck. My moms keep telling me to eat. Nothing will make it go away except eating. As long as I am stuffing my face around the clock then the monster sleeps. But if I miss a 15 minute interval… up and roaring and I am feeling like Pukey McSpukey.

So, Ja-wools and I are chitty chatting and she says, “Graham Crackers.” I immediately gagged on the inside but said “Oh, really?” on the outside. Jules should take no offense in this. I gag internally at any mention of food. Even water sometimes. She said they were the perfect snack.
So this morning, on my way into work I stop at the over-priced, holier-than-thou Broulim’s here in Rigby. (I really hate Broulim’s…. stemming from the fact that I really hate the owner of Broulim’s. Another post. Another day.) I go to the cookie cracker row. And get HoneyMaid Graham Cracker Bees. They are mini graham crackers shaped like bees. The detail in the bee is incredible, by the way.

I had already reached the point this morning of going too long without eating. So the monster was monstering and I was miserable and every smell was repulsive and I was achy and scratching my neck.

I get into my office. Sit down. Open the box.

The smell was medicinal. I smiled. I put one of those little graham cracker honey bees in my mouth and have been smiling ever since. It’s the magic drug. The monster is beyond silenced. The monster is appeased, happy, most likely sleeping with content.

Today Graham Crackers Saved My Life.

Last night after spending 2 and a half hours at the doctors office, I was relieved to know that the monster will most likely be permanently silenced by the end of next month (maybe sooner with a little help from Zofran) and from that monster... a little cuddle-baby of my own will grow and on July 17, 2010 make it's grand debut.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Messy, Stinky, Me

I've reached rock bottom at my house. Well, rock bottom for now. I bet it can go lower. My house literally stinks because I haven't cleaned it in so stinking (pun? no pun?) long. Sunday it was clean. Because Saturday is my big cleaning day. Then I just have to tidy here and there. It's just me and Ken so it usually doesn't get out of hand.
The kitchen smells. Sunday the dishwasher was turned on and that's as far as that's gone this week. There are dirty dishes from 3 nights festering in the sink because I hate unloading the dishwasher. The garbage hasn't been taken out and it reeks. It's also overflowing way beyond the normal borders of a frozen-pizza box tucked in the side because it doesn't fit. The pizza box is filled with garbage, the other disposable boxes are filled with garbage, it's too full to push down anymore.
The bathroom smells. We're out of clean towels because they've been left on the floor and now they stink. The toilet stinks. It hasn't been cleaned.... in... a while. My hair is everywhere in there. And little piles of worn clothes are tucked into every visible corner.
The bedroom smells. The hamper is full. The pile around the hamper has reached the height of the hamper and dirty clothes just stink.
The livingroom smells. It smells like Rusty. Which to me isn't a smell the living room should stink like. I haven't vaccuumed and his hair has coated the carpet. And I haven't washed his blankets. I've noticed he's not laying on them. Maybe they are too stinky for even him! It smells old and dusty like no one has been in there for years.
I don't know how the house got this messy. That's a fairly incredulous thing to say. I do know how the house got that messy. I think I've just been extra lazy. Extra non-helpful. Extra nonchalant. Extra belligerent to the facts.
It was pretty nice.
To do nothing.
Up to today.
When I don't even want to step foot in that messy house because I think it might get that gag reflux up and going.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Twilight Review

Apparently I hate everything about Twilight except the movie. (I even watched the deleted scenes and thought they were crummy. One whole sentence that just HAD to be cut. A nd a little blurb from the director... don't like her.... like her work.) I thought the movie was quite good. I went in knowing how terrible the book is and how this is a teeny-weeny-bopper movie and I was well pleased with what I saw.
I borrowed the movie from Emily, who highly recommended it. When I was reading the book I never got that much suspense, passion, feeling, action out of it. The book was boooorrrring. Bella smells good. Edward is hot. La dee da. But somehow, someone read that book and pictured that movie. The spin on the smell of Bella was more evident in the movie. He smelled her blood! I never got that as loudly and clearly as I did in the movie. I thought she just had nice dryer sheets or something. And, do I even need to say, that her obsession in his good looks is completely sane. He's attractive. Through and through. I liked his anger. His frustrations with her. (As I do still find her annoying.) I still don't get why they became so infatuated with each other but the movie rolled along at a good pace and made me forget to think about that.
I liked the baseball scene a lot. Mostly because I wish I could hit the ball that hard. I've never been a good batter.
And then when Bella and Edward are in the woods and it's all being revealed that he is a vampire and he says that he doesn't know what she is thinking.... pushes her against that rock... and tells her she has to tell him. I loved that part!
She gives a dumb answer... it's in her nature.
Edward steals the show. I enjoyed all of Edward's family. Especially Dr. Cullen and Esme. They are really wonderful "parents."
Bottom line: I think Edward made the movie.

So, I'm going to read New Moon. Just so I don't feel guilty watching the movie without reading the book.

And this doesn't mean I like Twilight more than Harry Potter.
Because I don't.

Thursday, November 5, 2009


Last night I was heading out to Albertson's at about 8:30. Ken was going to be home from school in a half hour or so and I was supposed to do dinner. And when I "do dinner" it's frozen pizza and a bad of salad. So, I'm going to get my ingredients. I pick everything up (have you noticed how EXPENSIVE frozen pizza is now?!) And I see the red box of RedBox. I think, "I have been dying to see Twilight." I absolutely hated the book but I've heard the movie is better. It would almost guaranteed have to be better than that book. So I go over to the RedBox and Twilight is a choice. I add it to my cart and then think, "Ken won't want to watch Twilight. I should get something we both would want to watch." So I browse through all the titles. Netflix spoils us because we've seen so many stinking movies... but I see The Soloist (which was a pretty good book) and swap it with Twilight.

After our incredibly nutritional meal I tell Ken I also got a movie! Talk about a great wife. "Oh, I have homework. I can't watch anything tonight." *sigh* I should have got stinking old Twilight. I put in The Soloist and fell asleep during the first 20 minutes. I dreamt of Edward Cullen. Who I am still dying to meet. My new goal is to be more selfish while picking out movies.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Last night I went over to the library to chalk up some volunteer-good-will-to-men time. I am on the board of the Friends of the Library and do so little I'm pretty sure they are going to kick me off any day now. I went with my friend, Heather. She is really a noble person. She volunteers all the time for EVERYTHING! I don't have that gust-o I guess. I'd rather sit on my couch and eat chips and Queso and watch a romantic comedy.
But we went to the library last night. The basement of the library is a book store. And a dungeon. It's kind of dark and drafty and noisy and dusty down there. BUT! They have thousands upon thousands of books that have been donated over the last few centuries. (Some are really old.) The library sells these books for pennies! I mean literally, like a nickel for a books. A dollar at the most. And they are good books. Yes, pre-owned, pre-read whatever. Who gives, right?
And the best part about it is- if you go down and volunteer for an hour or two you get books for free! Free books! Any readers dream. Last night I worked for an hour and a half. I alphabetized books and arranged some of the romance novels. You can do whatever you want down there... no one is telling you it has to be this way. Anyha- I worked for an hour and a half and came home with Cold Mountain, The Joy Luck Club, and 2 books of piano music. Clare, the dungeon keeper, kept pushing me to take more! I didn't because I didn't want to feel too overwhelmed to read. I'm in the middle of a really finny book now anyway- don't want to lose the feel of it.
So, if you want free books let me know- and we'll go down into the dungeon and browse through books for an hour or two and pick out some good ones. Seriously, the work is that easy.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Seriously. The Truth.

I seriously get sick from reading some of these perfect blogs. They are mostly blogs of people I don't know. Where everything is great. Everyone is happy. Nothing costs too much money. It makes me sick.
So for anyone out there who is also sick of reading these blogs (but still can't stop) this post is for you.

1. I know who my home teachers are and they never come. They avoid me at church. I've lived in my house for 3 and a half years and have been home taught twice.
2. I have a brain tumor that has sent up permanent residence on my pituitary gland. It stops me from having children. The all-powerful medicine that I take to make it go away not only doesn't work- but it makes me have the runs. As in running all the time to the bathroom so I don't have anything running down my legs.
3. My car rattles when I drive it.
4. I work everyday in an office all by myself. I only talk to people who have problems. I rarely get a happy phone call.
5. I weigh 161 pounds. I wear a size 12 pants. I didn't want to go back over 160.
6. Rusty who was given to me as a Christmas present, loves Ken way more than me. Sometimes they tag-team up against me and I can't STAND them!
7. Ken has promised me every year that he will take me back to Pittsburgh. I haven't been since the summer before we got married.
8. My neighbor is also my college math teacher.... awkward. I don't have the guts to go talk to him. It just gets more and more awkward every day.
9. This year we gave up cable, Internet, getting my nails done, getting my hair cut at a salon, and eating out so we could buy groceries.
10. I haven't done laundry in 2 weeks.

Yeah. Don't take this as a downer. This is what life is like, peeps. We all have real lives. Real ones. With problems. And trials. And bad days. Why aren't we sharing THAT life? There are up days and days that seem perfect. And then there is every other day of the year. I'm an every other day of the year person from here on out.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Bear Lake

We anniversary number four we went to Bear Lake. It was almost completely empty. (Ideal for couple alone time.) It was cold. (Ideal for couple snuggle time.) It was really quiet. (Ideal for reading time.) It was fantastic to get away and to remind Ken how much he loves me!

2 Trips 1 Year

I took this picture and I think it oughtta be a friggin' postcard. It looks like that elky is sight-seeing in Yellowstone. I made friends with a bear....
...and then tried to steal it's fish. The bear was mad.

We went to the Wolf and Grizz Discovery Center. It was a little pricey but really interesting. Real wolves! Real bears! Incredible!!
My hubster. There's a grizzly bear in the background. Completely out of focus.
We drove through Yellowstone conference weekend and I think we'll make it a tradition. I love taking mini-vacations. Love them.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Turning Lane

Have you ever seen these on the road before? It's a whole lane in between the other two or four lanes. One lane that has a solid yellow line on the outside and a dotted yellow line on the inside. Who knows what these are called? That's right. Turning lanes. Who knows what turning lanes are for? Go ahead. Take a guess. Good! They are for turning! Did you ever notice that those turning lanes are kinda long? So long that sometimes they are continuous down a whole street? Do you have a guess as to why they are so long? No? Do you think it might be because you are supposed to get into the turning lane and then slow down to make your turn. You don't slow down to a near stop in a driving lane and then turn diagonally into the turning lane leaving half your butt out in the driving lane. The driving lane is for driving. Turning lane is for turning. So, if you're cruising along at 35 and you see your turn coming up...keep cruising at 35 and signal into the turning lane. Once you enter the turning lane, then slow down. Don't let me see those brake lights come on until you are in the turning lane. MmKay?
Turning lanes. Use them for the good of all mankind.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dorian Grey

I was rummaging through old pictures. On my computer. Is that really rummaging? Don't you have to get a little dirty to rummage? Do items have to be dusty to be rummaged? Food for thought.
I was rummaging through old pictures and I came across this one of me and Ken when we first met.

Wow. I know right? Were we 15 years old? I can't believe how young we look! Man 4 years really ages a woman. And a man. This is us now.

It'll be our 4 year anniversary in 9 days. I've been thinking a lot about where we were then and now. We'll start with pictures. More to come.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


I am aniticipating the end of this year. I am holding on to the end of December. Somehow, I am believing that when December ends... everything will go back to normal. I will be brought back to rest. My heart won't be broken. I will be whole. I will emerge and everything will be the same as it was.

Get me through December. I promise I'll remember. Get me through December. So I can start again.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Blazing into the Unknown

Me and Ken got bruised, scraped, scratched, and tripped last weekend in Wolverine Canyon. Have you been? It's like going to a different country. You do no feel like you are 20 minutes outside of Idaho Falls. Ken talked me into going on a "nice, easy hike" with some of his clients. Bill and Karen hike a lot and I figured if they say it's nice and easy it probably is... because they know what tough is. Uh... I struggled. Maybe if you were Wolverine it would have been nice and easy. But I'm Patty Cake.
We started about 9:30. Going up. Straight up. It is a mile to the top. I was assured that all the steep comes at he beginning. They weren't kidding. There wasn't a trail. There wasn't an easy way up. It was intense. It got my heart pumping and reminded me how good it feels to be alive.

We reached the top and spent awhile looking around. I couldn't help but notice that a trail didn't appear at the top. Sad. We walked along ridges of mountains and I called every one's attention to the fact that this was very Sound of Music.

(Climb Every Mountain!)

The ridges stopped abruptly and there was only one way down. Straight down. Scary, straight, steep, down. Bill and Karen, being pros, practically tip toed down the mountain. I fell, slid, tripped, surfed, careened, laughed down the mountain. I dislodged a rock and knowcked Ken on his rump. It was work. But it was so challenging and different it didn't feel like I was hiking. I didn't feel my thighs burning (until later) or the sweat dripping from my face. It was a blast.

I was at the top of that mountain, there.

We hiked until the cows came home. It was the perfect end to summer.

Monday, September 21, 2009


I love to drive up by the windmills.

They are hypnotizing.

And beautiful.

Showing Off

Say "no" to Muffin Tops and Cuppy Cakes.

Say "yes" to modest prom wear. (check out that supa-model hair.)

Say "yes" to friends. (if they are making good choices)

Extra, uber, over-the-top thanks to our stake for putting on a spectacularly cheesy fashion show and for Shanny and Aubs for modelling.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Birds and Beasts Were There

Being born and raised in Pittsburgh, PA I had no idea that there were still fairs. I thought fairs were from a previous generation. A Charlotte's Web generation. So when I married Ken and "Fair Time" came around I was in for quite the sugary treat. I was hooked from the first time we went and saw the animals.
When we were little there was a park about 15 minutes away from our house called Round Hill Park. It was a Sunday afternoon outing for my mom to take me and my sisters there. She would have us wear our dresses (big-time Sunday rule) and bring our journals (big-time Sunday rule). There were 4 or 5 towering old red barns. They each housed different animals. Sheep, cows, horses, pigs, and then chickens and bunnies shared one. I remember one time there were little lambs there and we got to feed them a bottle. It was incredible. So, on these Sundays, we would walk around and look at all the animals and then go sit by the lake and write in our journals.
I've loved farm animals ever since.
I've gone to the fair and done the rides, and done the commercial booths, and done the games, and done the drawings. That's the minor leagues. Now I go and spend nearly all my time in the smelly barns. Admiring the animals. I love the littler kids that are around the barns. Their faces are sparkling with pride. And they ought to be. This year's animals were fantastic.

Momma Cow and Baby Cows... and a cow wearing a pink shirt. Some camera angles.... ouch.

his sheep kept eating garbage. But look at that thick thick wool. Ready for winter!

This beast is mine! Hands off!

These goats were so funny. I'd tell them I was going to take their picture and I could swear they would pose when I counted to three.

Then this little guy looked like he was going to walk right over the fence. He just put his hooves in grid by grid and would rest them over the top. I thought him and Rusty would make pretty good friends.

There was a free petting zoo at the fair too! It was free! If you wanted to feed the little critters it was 25 cents for like a sacrament cup of food. But we hawked up the 50 cents and fed all the animals that no one else was feeding. I always feel bad for those animals. There was an ostrich or something there and Ken decided to be brave and feed it. That bird was a really strong pecker. Ken jumped every time the bird went in for some kibble!

We both fed the llama. It grunted. A lot. And really pigged out on my food! It ate almost the whole cup. Arghhh. Set limits, llama! Limits!
And I tried to feed the goats but none of them would come over to me. I tried to get tips from this little girl but she wasn't talkin'.
I love the animals at the fair.
I also love corn dogs, gyros, slushed lemonades, tiger ears, funnel cakes, and cinnamon almonds. All of which I partook of.

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Results Are In

My results weren't as good as we all hoped and wished and prayed they would be. After 6 months of harsh medication and anticipation the results came in that the tumor had shrunk. It shrunk 3 mm on the biggest side. The other sides went down a little less. I know I should be happier but, to me, this really sucks.
The accountant in me figured out the percentage of each sides decrease. The highest percentage was nearly 33%. I should be hootin' and hollerin' but I've been a bit of a shut in this weekend. Rephrase: I've been a total shut-in this weekend. I keep thinking 33 is just 7 more than 25. And 25% is not a lot. (See above spreadsheet for visual reference. The lilac is the steady progress I thought was being made. The magenta is where we are.)
My doctor wasn't thrilled with the results either but it is what it is. My body is taking longer than most other peoples do. This damn tumor is fighting. But so am I! I was so ready to hear that it was gone. That I was done. That I wouldn't have to take that medicine anymore. I built up my own hopes. But the doctor was as optimistic as I was on Tuesday when I had my appointment with him. He thought if there was anything it would be the size of a grain of sand. I'm learning that doctors don't really know all that much.
So, I've been praying harder than ever that Dr. Shepard will come to my rescue and bring McSteamy to scrub in.
All in all. I'm no worse off. Just please prep your bathroom with some matches and a can of freshener if I am coming over.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

MRI #2 Harry Potter #7

This morning I went in for my second MRI. This is to test to see if the medication that I have been taking (that has caused endless stinky nights in the bathroom) for the last six months has done anything besides cause running, panicked trips to the bathroom. It was the exact same procedure as last time. Same guy and everything. It still sounded like someone was shooting machine guns at me and I still felt like I was squished into a tiny tube. However. I felt like I was only in there for like 10 minutes! The time flew by. I was still in for 65 minutes... with the intermission for the needle poke and dye to be injected. But, man! It wasn't bad at all! I think this is because I already know there's a tumor in my head. They can't really give me any worse news, right? I mean, seriously. If it's still there... I'm not any worse off. And if it's gone... then upward and onward! So this morning felt more like a relaxing morning off work than a medical procedure. Tomorrow, I should get the results.

This morning I also started Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. How I have waited for this day. I succumbed and have read the entire series again. It so much more insightful the second time around. I really appreciate Ms. Rowling's writing. The series in so intricately tied together... it's genius. My love for Ron Weasley has grown and grown and I am not looking forward to some of his decisions in book seven. But I know I'll love him all the same (and more) after I am done.
Look at that tough guy!
On the second-go-round I noticed that things that bothered me the first time (including whole books) I really enjoyed this time! It just made sense. I didn't like Goblet of Fire the first time... but this time. Wow! What a critical piece of the story! AND I didn't like that Harry and Ginny get together in Half-Blood Prince the first time. But this time.... it was charming. Truly meant to be.
So I am finishing up the series right now with Deathly Hallows. Very much looking forward to it. And I feel like I am finishing up a series in my life with the tumor. Very much looking forward to it. I am ending two chapters in my life simultaneously. It feels really symbolic somehow.