Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Dear Dr. Kissins~
I was appalled at my last appointment by the way you treated me. I waited an hour and 45 minutes for a 1 minute and 35 second appointment. I timed it. That whole time I was waiting I had to go to the bathroom and your receptionists wouldn't let me go because "the nurses have a hard time keeping track of samples." I can't believe you walked out of the office... while I was talking to you. I get that you're busy. You constantly remind me. But you are busy because you have clients that need you. I used to feel like I need you. But now, you are making me feel like I'd be better off without you. You called me the wrong name. I'm Patty not Jenny. My baby is due in July not... "in the next week or so." Did you even look at my chart before you blew in and out? I went, and paid extra, and got the special ultrasound you ordered. You had no clue what I was talking/asking about. You said "we might be able to talk about it next time." What's wrong with right now? I'm here, I've been waiting. I would like to know what your take is on the technician's report. When you asked me if I had any headaches, nausea, or vomiting I said no. Then I started to tell you about something that was concerning me. You cut me off and said, "You ARE pregnant." Am I supposed to take that as what I was experiencing is normal? I'd like some assurance. I'd like some peace of mind. I'd like to know that the $3,500 you are going to charge me at the end of all this is worth it. Because for this first 7 and a half months- it hasn't been. You have done nothing beneficial for me. You have never fully answered my questions even when I press for more information. "Don't worry about that" and "You are doing just fine" are not answers to questions. In case you didn't know that. I have always waited more than an hour to see you and have never spent more than 10 minutes at an appointment. I think that's pretty awful service. I've talked to you before about the "special treatment" I need- since obviously getting questions answered and feeling assured is "special" by your standards... and you seem to have forgotten that along with my name. I'm sticking this out with you. Because it's about my baby getting here. And I can do that without you. I know he is healthy. But, just know, I don't think you are a good doctor. You overbook your patients. You make me feel worthless and like I am wasting your time. I will not be back.
Dearest Dr. Kissins,
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
This is me about a month ago. Anytime I ask Ken to take my picture it's like "click!" I swear he doesn't even look in the camera to see if I am in the picture. I'm always surprised when I see my picture- not so much by my bumbly tummy but those knockers! They look so matronly. People, you got to tell me these things!
I think my overall shape looks... eggy.
Preggy Eggy. That's me!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
It still catches me off guard when a doctor asks, "How's your brain tumor?" They say it so nonchalantly. Like they are asking "How'd that math test go today, hun?" I always kind of shake my head in disbelief and try to soak in the question. I always want to ask them a super sensitive and personal question. But can never think of one on the spot.
Anyha. Upward and onward.
I love getting ultrasounds. We asked Sheri to come with us yesterday- she has never seen one, never had one, and this whole pregnancy concept is so new to her. So me, Ken, and Sheri all went. We went to the imaging center at the hospital and it was so techy! They had a big screen on the wall for guests to watch- a screen for the tech- and then a screen on the ceiling for moi! Total spoilage right? They put that hot goop on and ziggy zag their wand all over your stomach making comments like "The femur looks good" and "Nice head size." And all the while I'm thinking "That was a femur?" "I never saw a head?" "Who are you people?" "Where am I?" those poor technicians have to deal with us untrained civilians all day long.
We had a regular tech AND an ultrasound specialist. (invasion of tech-nerds!) I keep calling him a paleontologist, even though that's a dinosaur guy. It sounds like paleontologist whatever it is that he is titled.
He made all the measurements again and compared them with the young ladies. His diagnosis?
"Name him Hans or Bruno because he will be a bruiser."
This baby who is 31.5 weeks along according to due date 7/17 is FOUR AND A HALF POUNDS! That's the 96th percentile for babies at that stage. He said he is measuring for a due date of June 23rd. A whopping 3 weeks before the original due date. Aye Ka Mama!
There is nothing wrong with a big chubby baby in my book and the paleontologist agreed. He said his only concern is if he continues to grow above the curve- he will be well over 10 pounds when he is born. Which can be complicated and painful for da mama. I'm not worried in the slightest.
The regular techs diagnosis you are wondering?
"Skip the 0-3 months clothes. He'll never fit in them."
Monday, May 10, 2010
1. Here, put your feet up.
2. Sure, you can have my pillow.
3. Would you like me to get you a cookie?
4. You look smashing today!
5. Before you ask me, Can I rub your feet?
6. If you feel like sitting up, I'll rub your back.
7. I didn't even notice you getting up last night, at all!
8. Pizza Hut pizza does sound good every night for dinner.
9. I already took care of that.
10. You need to rest. Go lay down.
TOP 10 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A PREGNANT LADY
*all of which have been said to me
1. I can't believe how fast you are growing out of your clothes!
2. 13 pounds in 14 days? Is that healthy?
3. I need to stretch out my legs too! I sat at a desk all day, ya know.
4. I can tell you where the automatic massager is. That'll help.
5. I think it's all in your head.
6. You get up a lot during the night. It's really hard to sleep through that.
7. I don't think you should be eating that.
8. I think your feet are like scaly dragon feet.
9. Will you hurry up?
10. Will you clean up the house while I'm gone?
But this year- this year Ken showed me just how excited he is that I am becoming a mother. It was a beautiful day. Ken's church meetings were all cancelled. So he didn't have to get up at 6 and leave. We woke up about 8. I fed Rusty and ate a bowl of granola. I brought Ken a pack of fruit snacks- he was still in bed. I climbed back in bed with him and that's where we stayed. Until noon. We'd read our books and talk and feel the baby moving. And just lay there. I fell asleep a couple times. It was a special morning. When I was getting ready for church Ken brought a present into the bathroom. A huge, red, gift bag with stars all over it. Inside? A boppy. For me and the baby. I had mentioned once or twice (or 50 times) how helpful one would be when the baby came. I just loved it. I just love him. He said it wasn't a gift totally for me- I would have to share it with the baby... but he knew how bad I wanted one. He's a doll baby. I was so happy it hardly registered when he said that he also booked us a weekend in Yellowstone! I've been saying it would be nice to take a mini trip before you-know-who gets here. Ken said he would rather take one after- as our first family vacation. Sunday he said- we'll do both. We are going up to Yellowstone Friday after work and staying at a new hotel (with a pool!!!). We'll stay and tour the park on Saturday and come home later that night. What a dream.
He made Mother's Day so special for me....
....makes me wonder what he is expecting for Father's Day.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I was let down. A lot. I think this movie should be called "Where The Sad Things Are" or "Where The Really Angry Depressed Things Are." I don't think it's a kid movie at all. The characters are from the book- but that's it.
Max (the little boy) is upset with his family.... his dad is gone, his sister ignores him, his mom is dating a new man. He yells and screams all the time. (The entire movie is yelling and screaming.) He bites his mom and runs away to this "land" where the "wild things are." They make them their king and then are really mean to him and each other. They all have problems- like psychological problems. Chronic depression, OCD, nervousness. I know that kids wouldn't get that- but it was uncomfortable to watch. These wild things fight the whole movie. Nothing goes right. After a big fight Max decides to go home. He does and his mom gives him a hug and the movie ends.
An hour and a half of yelling angry people and monsters. Not how I remember the kids book- at all.
The characters, however, looked just like the book did. THAT was impressive.
But, seriously, skip this rental.
It was a bomb-nugget.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
- I don't know how to be a mom.
- I know how to babysit.
- Are they similar?
- Is someone going to teach me how to nurse?
- The books are really confusing.
- I could write a book.
- What does this baby-meister look like?
- I hope he has dark hair.
- I hope he has hair.
- I don't think that bald is beautiful.
- A mom would think bald is beautiful.
- I'm going to be a horrible mom.
- Some ice cream would make that feeling go away.
- Ken is sleeping.....
- I think I'll let my kids have late night snacks when their dad is asleep and they are sad.
- I'm going to be a great mom.
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- I'm glad Ken is good at nicknames.
- My dad is really good at nicknames... although sometimes they are a little off kilter.
- How did Julie get the name "Stinkweeder?"
- I've called the un-born child stinkweeder.
- He doesn't smell stinky at all.
- I don't think he can smell either.
- Do you have to be able to breathe to smell.
- *Breathing In* Yeah, I think so.
- Those nachos at Greta's blessing were really good.
- I want a whole big can of that cheese sauce from Sam's.
- Wouldn't it be cool to register at Sam's?
- I just want to hold my own baby.
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- I'm going to let other people hold my baby whenever they want.
- I understand why my mom always made us sit down to hold babies when we were little.
- My mom was literally super mom.
- Ken keeps telling me I'll be a mom like my mom.
- That's encouraging.
- Those tangerines we got were not very tasty.
- I could eat fruit all day.
- Is that a craving?
- I haven't craved a lot during this pregnancy.
- Swimming. That was a craving.
- I want a real fat baby.
- I hope his knees and knuckles and elbows are just dimples.
- That's how Greta is right now.
- Funny. That's cute on babies and GROSS on adults.
- I wonder why Ken is skipping the doctor appointment tomorrow.
- Is it not exciting for him anymore?
- What if we are dead-beat parents?
- What if we're all talk?
- Just decide to do it and do it.
- Be involved.
- Love the kids.
- "Kids." You're only having one!
- We do refer to this baby as "the kids" sometime.
- I don't want to wait a long time in between babies.
- I like close families.
- I have to go to the bathroom.
- It would be scary to be a baby.
- It is scary to be a mom.
- Am I considered a mom already?
- Every single time I think of a mom I think of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
- Vicky hates it when people say "every single" anything.
- Pet peeves are hilarious.
- Ken and I have been really happy lately.
- I think starting our family has unified us.
- Do people really break up because of the kids?
- That seems strange.
- Does that make me sound naive?
- I love that Kenny Chesney song "Alive and Well."
- That song inspired me to put glow-in-the-dark stars up in the baby's room.
- The stars are more for me than for him right now.
- I have to go to the bathroom.