Funny at the Literal Meaning

Two things have gone through my head that have made me laugh aloud at myself.  And my clever, coy style.  They are only funny when taken at their most literal meaning.

1.  "No way, Jose."  When I'm talking to Joey.

2.  I put up with so much Sh!t from these two.  Literal.  Come oooon. 

In other funny news, yesterday Joey bit Kole on the back.  Jaws style.  While I felt bad... as a member of the Maternal Justice League Kole really had this coming.  He gets about 45 cheap shots in on Joey for every one that Joey can reciprocate.  Kole was screaming and crying and I was cuddling him to make him feel better. (And make myself feel better for letting it happen.  I didn't sic Joey on him--- but I did loosen the leash quite a bit.)
Kole asked if he had "a bleed."  I checked.  He did.  I told him.  He cried harder.  After a few seconds he wailed, "This is what happened to Jesus!  They hurt his back and hung him on the cross!"
While I admire his biblical knowledge.... that's a tad dramatic there, Koler.  Your little brother bit your back.  No one is crucifying you.

Page 281

This ward sings some songs I don't know des temps en temps.  What am I saying "des temps en temps"... they sing weird ones consistently.  I prefer the Hits. Babe. Nothing but the Hits.   

There is Sunshine In My Soul Today
How Great Thou Art
I Believe In Christ
I Stand All Amazed

The Hits!  I like to sing and swing a little.  Do a little reverent head bopping.  We get the hits sometimes but it seems like every week there's an old one in there.  One I've never heard of.  One that makes Kole look at me all cock-eyed since I sing three-quarters of the notes wrong.  (We Are All Enlisted!  Another Chart Topper!)  With the deep crush I've developed on this ward I've just decided to roll with it.  I thought, "Maybe these people are the exceptional people they are because they don't judge hymns... or people."  So I decided to open my heart to the crazy ol' Hymns they sing.  All my faves, all the bland ones, and all the ones I've never heard.  In doing so- we sang a hymn that has become my favorite.  Page 281. (shuffling for hymnals.)

Help Me Teach with Inspiration
Grant this blessing, Lord, I pray.
Help me lift a soul's ambition
To a higher, nobler way.

Help me reach a friend in darkness;
Help me guide him through the night.
Help me show thy path to glory
By the Spirit's holy light.

Fill my mind with understanding;
Tune my voice to echo thine.
Touch my hand with gentle friendship;
Warm my heart with love divine.

Help me find thy lambs who wander;
Help me bring them to thy keep.
Teach me, Lord, to be a shepherd;
Father help me feed they sheep.

I give you a second to wipe your tears and enjoy that warmth in your chest.
Those lyrics! 
"Lift a soul's ambition..."
AH!
"Reach a friend in darkness..." "Touch my hand with gentle friendship..."
SING IT!

It's soft and lovely.
It is what living in this house, in this ward, for the last year has been to me.
A true lifting.
I feel like the best version of myself when I am surrounded by these people.
I feel calm.
And gracious.
And loved.

It will be hard to move away.
Next Wednesday.

P.S.
Do wards have theme songs?

Cuz 'dat Hymn should be it.
Well... that or... Beautiful by Snoop Dogg feat. Pharrell.  Everyone is just gorgeous. Gorgeous! Like Vampire Gorgeous.