But as the last nine months have passed, I think Joey has gotten about 9 new outfits. All the rest have been Koley hand me downs. He's using Koley's old crib, drinking from Koley's old bottles, and bathing in Koley's old baby tub. Joey bounces in Koley's old blue horse, get his diaper changed on Koley's old changing table, and takes walks with me in Koley's old stroller.
Sometimes I think Joey even gets second-hand parenting. First class... but second hand. Like with Kole I was so strict about bed time and naps and the duration thereof. There was a strict schedule and there was no wavering. When it was time for Koley to sleep through the night.... I quit going in there. Kole never had anything sweet or sugary until he tasted cake on his first birthday... and then there was that 12 months in between his 1st and 2nd birthday that was pretty void of sweets also. Wert.
With Joey... eh! I nibble off a piece of my Oreo for him here and there. I'll let him take a bite of cheese even though he's not one. I'll take him out of his crib and let him watch The Wonder Years with me if he's gonna cry about. It's a looser ship. And when Ken gives me a sideways look that says Abnormal Patty Parenting Happening, I raise my fake glass and say with a smile, "It's 5:00 somewhere!" Cheers!
With the parenting Joey has kinda lucked out with the second-hand stuff... but in all other ways... he seriously gets the shaft. For instance:
If Kole takes something from Joe he has to replace it with something else. If Kole takes a train from Joey he should give him another one. I thought this was working pretty well. I'd always hear Joey cry and then Kole chirp, "Here you go!" and the crying would stop. So I figured all was well. But Monday I heard Joey cry, looked in on the situation, saw Koley had taken a light up toy that played music from Joey. I said, "Hey. What do you need to do now?" Koley, ne'er missing a beat, chirped, "Here you go, Joe!" and threw a sock in Joey's general direction. A sock. Not a comparable toy. Not a toy at all! A sock that Ken took off after work and tucked under the couch. Here you go Joey! Sorry you were born second. Sucks for you!
Yesterday, I saw Joey's tide had the opportunity to change. He had outgrown Koley's old carrier car seat and it was time for his very own new one. Mint condition. Never before used. Complete with leather trim and cup holder. All his own to carry him through 3 levels of automobile safety. During nap time I hauled it out to the Subaru and started reading through the Installation directions. In case you've never had a modern day car seat... there's a reason it's called Installation. It's a process. And a bear.
As I read the new manual I found out Joey's seat can not be used as a rear-facing. Only forward. And all children under one have to be rear-facing. Sad turn of events. My arms dropped, my heart dropped, and my head dropped... to see Koley's old stained car seat strapped into the car. It was covered with Goldfish crumbs and mud from Kole's shoes. It was wet from where he spilled his water that morning on the way to the store. It just looked beat up. But- it could face backwards. It took an hour and a half but I got both car seats in, attached, and facing the right way.
Koley, us usual, got something new and shiny and never before used.
And Joey got a worn out piece of Koley memorabelia.
But on the positive side, I kept Joey's streak of second-hand hand me downs in tact.
Go Joey!
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| Here's Joseph sporting Kole's old Boise State sleeper. |
Last Year's A to Z: J Is For Justified. I was entering my third trimester of pregnancy and had some happy and unhappy things to say about it.
