Friday, April 13, 2012

"L" Is For Longevity

Everyone wants to live a long time.  Me especially.  I've always had this deeply planted fear that I'd get plagued with cancer or heart attacks or some no-cure, never heard of, illness.  Sometimes it seems like everything goes so well for me... disaster is just around the bend.
Sure the old brain tumor threw a wrench in the hand basket.  But I don't think it will kill me.  I'll keep taking my medicine just in case. *wink*

Lately, I've been thinking (and sharing with friends and strangers) that I think the perfect age is 60.  I'm really looking forward to being 60.  I mean.  Think about it.
Kids are out of the house.  No more waking up in the middle of night just to go in there and find out NOTHING is wrong.  No more getting a stuffed doggie, and monkey, and a toy bus, and 3 blankets, and a dump truck to get a kiddo to take a nap.  No more making a piece of toast- buttering it just how he wants it, putting jelly on all the right spots... and then making the terrible mistake of cutting it in half.  Because, of course, now it's broken.  And who will eat broken toast.  No more car seats and strollers, no more truck sounds! 
I realize that in 5 years a lot of this will be different and I'll only be 33.  But at 33... there will be school work and homework nagging and sporting events.  There will be friends coming over and needing food.  There will be resistance to chores and not wanting to make the bed.  The kiddos will be able to tell me what they don't like and WHY they don't like it.  They will be reasoning with me.  I don't like the sounds of that.
60 is the prime age not only because the kids will be moved out... but the house (that we don't have, haven't looked for, and won't own for a couple years) will be paid for.  I mean, do people in their 60s even HAVE bills?  I think they can use all their money to go out to breakfast with their girlfriends.  And buy shiny new decks of cards for the weekly game of Canasta.
At 60 you can wake up at 9:30, put on your track suit, and walk through the park.  Really slow.  By yourself.  You can sit down on every bench to take a break and no one will think you're out of shape.  They'll just figure you're old.  I get all kinds of sour looks when I stop every 50 yards for a gulp of Powerade and to catch my breath as I hold my knees.  Pushing a stroller is HARD work.  Even when there aren't any hills.
Plus at 60 you can wear crazy colors and big bold scarves and pins and people tell you that you look great.  When I wear that stuff now, Ken says I look like an old lady. 
Well?!  That's what I wish I was!

So...
Let us raise our chalices to Longevity.
L'Chaim!

13 comments:

Kar said...

This is totally how I feel. I mean, I try to live in the now, blah blah blah, but it must be so fun to be free of all the pressures I feel at this age - the pressure to have a nicer body. The pressure to be a better mom. To have a cleaner house. Etc. etc. etc. I always look at the older ladies in my ward, who don't worry about exercising, who eat what they want, who enjoy reading and napping and gardening, and I think, man, that is the life for me.

Gina Gao said...

This is so how I feel right now! I really enjoyed reading this post. I enjoy how you write.

www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

Joshua said...

I don't have to wait for 60 to dress eccentric. Cons with shorts, a nerdy tee, earbuds, a Cubs hat. Or jeans with sandals, a nerdy tee, and suspenders. And I'm 31. I wonder what I'll be wearing in 30 years?

Patty said...

@Kar- I wish I was Enid Storer.

@Gina- Thanks for the compliment. I went over to your blog. Yo uare a very good young writer, Little Missy!

@Joshua- Most likely faded outdated nerdy tees. And orthopedic shoes.

Joshua said...

I'll be driving a Rascal, so probably barefoot.

Chris Loves Julia said...

Oh man, I don't want to rush to 60. I don't even want to rush to 40. I think 25-30 is where it is AT! Although I recently read an article that said 33 is the best age...so I'll squeeze that in, too. I think there is nothing more gorgeous and glorifying than a young mother.

I guess I am also afraid to see what I'll look like with wrinkles.

Patty said...

@ Julie - I've already got the wrinkles and gray hair, so... brnig on the AARP card and discount lunches!

Joanne said...

Very funny post! I also hope that I am one of those blue haired old ladies in track suits!
Blessings, Joanne

Lynn Proctor said...

still paying on our house--gotta win the lottery to ever see it paid off in our lifetime ---happy for you though

Michelle said...

When I am an old lady, I will wear elastic waist band capris with matching tunics and big floppy hats and I will revel in my comfort!

Misha Gericke said...

Hahahaha you make a strong argument for being 60. :-D

Ginger Bradley said...

I'm almost there!
mom

Cinderella, the A-Train and Our Little Caboose said...

hahahah I just got excited about my 30s! I figure I'll try to enjoy every age, since I can't change it! I agree with Kar in a lot of ways though. I feel a lot more 'peer pressure' at my age now then I ever did in High School. Sad, but true.