Tuesday, April 24, 2012

"U" Is For Uncertainty

Kole took off the nice boy mask he's been wearing his whole life and revealed another boy.  A boy I don't know.  And, frankly, really dislike.
I'd say it started Saturday-ish?  I offered the lad a cookie.  Which is uncommon for him... I thought he'd be ecstatic.  He was really happy-  until he dropped the cookie and a corner broke and hell broke loose.  He flailed and wailed.  Kicked the floor, the fridge, and me.  Real tears.  At first, I sympathized.  Poor kid.  Gets a special treat and drops it.  It'd be tough to be that little.  The sympathy ended when I offered him another cookie and he threw it on the floor and stomped on it. 
Awwww Hell No!

These riots have consistently presented themselves since.  For the stupidest, STUPIDEST things.  His shirt has a boat on it and not a dinosaur.  He wants to sit on the middle stool not the end stool.  His hot dog is too hot.  His sandwich is sliced wrong.  He wants to eat on the couch (<--- big time uh uh.)  His milk is too cold.  His hair is parted on the wrong side.  His bath was too short.  Bed time came too fast.  His book was boring or sad or dumb or something that got it thrown on the floor.  ALL of these end with Kole throwing the object on the floor and then throwing himself after it.

And all I can think is "What happened to you?"

He's not sick, tired, or hungry.
He's just being a stinking pill.  That screams and cries a lot.
And today, for the second time since his birth, I yelled at him.

After hauling him in over my shoulder from the park (where he obviously DIDN'T want to play) and getting kicked in the stomach the whole way home and getting my hair pulled.... I set him on the couch, grabbed his hands, and said, "KNOCK IT OFF!!"  (And, yes, two exclamation points were completely necessary.)  He was so shocked I yelled that he got quiet and fast.  Then, his lip shivered and he cried again. Probably because I hurt his feelings and his self-esteem and he's always going to remember me as the ugly ogre mom he never liked.

I just can't.  take it.  anymore! 
I have an immense reserve of patience. 
But this seems like some kind of mean joke on me.
Koley Canoli... before he was possessed.


Juli said...

Oh honey. It will tell you that it's a phase.

I will not tell you that as soon as he's out of that phase there will be another. And in all honesty, I find myself kicking and screaming on the floor more and more these days.

Chris Loves Julia said...

Welcome to the terrible 2s--where the really terrible thing is that your angel baby is gone. :( It's a hard, hard time, but Greta is already, kinda, a little bit growing out of it. Hang in there. And when I say "in there" I mean inside or out of public, at least that's what I did.

Anonymous said...

The Boy is going through this, too. The Girl is just about through it. So...good luck.

Anonymous said...

Aaaahh the terrible twos have come for you at last... Tini hit them when he was about 12 months old. I think it's because he has older brothers. AND he's spoiled to no end by everyone! Good luck with this lovely time being a mom. It is exciting:) haha

Lynn Proctor said...

makes me remember all those "good" times--i will be thinking of you :)

Michelle said...

My son hit his terrible two's about the year he turned ten. I'd call it the terrible ten's but no-one seems to know what I mean! It was a rough phase, but he grew out of it and returned to his nice kid self. I still shudder when I think of the tantrums thrown in our house...from him and from me.

Kar said...

Aw man. It's a toddler thing. And it might be this way for, like, um, two more years. I feel like they start to pull out of it when they turn four or so. That's what I'm praying for with Micah. I need him to SIMMER DOWN. It's been wayyyy too long that he's been possessed.

And don't feel badly that you yelled at him. Only twice in his whole life? That's pretty good.

And I'm sorry he kicked your stomach. OUCH.

Poulsen Family said...

Want to switch kids for a day and see who's is worse? :)

Joanne said...

Time for chocolate lots of it. you'll need it when he throws himself across the entrance of a busy store ( my daughter did that). You did good mom, He is not going to be traumatized at all. In fact he will learn that you have set a limit and that his behavior made you unhappy. So what did I do when my daughter blocked the store entrance with a no hold's barred tantrum? I did what you did...I picked her up and told her to knock it off and away we went...no ride on the mechanical airplane and no treat.Next time she had her tantrum beside the entrance...hey small steps ;o)
Blessings, Joanne

Gina said...

Welcome to the terrible twos. The good news is one day he'll be back to be your sweet little boy. Just as out of the blue as it started. Bad news is, then will come another phase... for my kids was the horrible fives.

Don't feel bad for yelling, he'll survive and you need to set a clear line of what will be tolerated and what not. Best of luck!

From Diary of a Writer in Progress

Francene Stanley said...

The little 'tyke'. He wants to control you, just like a man wants to be the dominant partner. You must remain firm with him. You're doing it for the sake of his future partner when he matures. You're the saviour. Damian--leave this boy.


Holli Fuhriman said...

My kids have both entered the terrible twos at about eighteen months. Julia was a biter which was really hard. We tried all sorts of things but she finally just had to grow out of it. Andrew hits and colors on the walls and cries uncontrolably especially at diaper changes. 3 year old Julia has been way harder than her 2 year old self. I'm hoping karlenn's prediction about 4 being a turning point is true for her.

Hopefully yelling doesn't hurt my kids too much because it happens quite a bit around here. Iv even growled at them occasionally. I think the important thing is to set limits and then really love them when they are being sweet and good.

Brett and Tiffany said...

This is normal...I think they all do it. I think it is part of growing up and trying to figure things out. The biggest thing I can say is "Be consistent." He will test the limits and if he knows the consequences for his choices then he will know what happens. Moms have to stand their ground, and at the same time discipline with love. They will figure it out and so will you! You are a great mom! I think they recognize when change is coming (like a new baby) and they just want to find their place.

Patty said...

Juli- I hate phases.

Chris Loves Julia- We are homebound for now. Since wearing shoes or getting in the car is on Kole's scream alert list.

Joshua- How come I never see other kids behavnig like banshees?

Megan- Don't sound so happy!

Kar- 2 years?! Maybe one of his grammas will take him in.

Poulsen Family- I love a good contest.

Joanne- I ate 2 king size Reese's yesterday and polished those off with a Snickers. Time for another gas station run.

Gina- Thanks. A little motivation always feels good.

Francene- Excellent insight.

Holli- I'll pray for you if you pray for me.

Tiffany- Do you want him for awhile?

Anonymous said...

Mental block.