The Day Graham Crackers Saved My Life

I have been feeling so stinking sick I can hardly walk… let alone work, sleep, or function as a human being. I’ve been going through Saltines like crap through a goose and was even starting to struggle with them. 3 whole boxes is overkill, probably. But I had no idea how else to appease this monster. It is constantly in my throat. Threatening to throw up on a client, on the person next to me at church, on Ken, on Rusty, on the mailman. Who ever is the closest would get it. And get it bad. I can have nothing on my neck. No necklaces, high-button shirts, turtlenecks, even something brazing my neck (like a collar)… egck. I just claw at it constantly. CONSTANTLY! I wake up in the middle of the night (miserable) and I am clawing at my neck. My moms keep telling me to eat. Nothing will make it go away except eating. As long as I am stuffing my face around the clock then the monster sleeps. But if I miss a 15 minute interval… up and roaring and I am feeling like Pukey McSpukey.

So, Ja-wools and I are chitty chatting and she says, “Graham Crackers.” I immediately gagged on the inside but said “Oh, really?” on the outside. Jules should take no offense in this. I gag internally at any mention of food. Even water sometimes. She said they were the perfect snack.
So this morning, on my way into work I stop at the over-priced, holier-than-thou Broulim’s here in Rigby. (I really hate Broulim’s…. stemming from the fact that I really hate the owner of Broulim’s. Another post. Another day.) I go to the cookie cracker row. And get HoneyMaid Graham Cracker Bees. They are mini graham crackers shaped like bees. The detail in the bee is incredible, by the way.

I had already reached the point this morning of going too long without eating. So the monster was monstering and I was miserable and every smell was repulsive and I was achy and scratching my neck.

I get into my office. Sit down. Open the box.

The smell was medicinal. I smiled. I put one of those little graham cracker honey bees in my mouth and have been smiling ever since. It’s the magic drug. The monster is beyond silenced. The monster is appeased, happy, most likely sleeping with content.

Today Graham Crackers Saved My Life.

Last night after spending 2 and a half hours at the doctors office, I was relieved to know that the monster will most likely be permanently silenced by the end of next month (maybe sooner with a little help from Zofran) and from that monster... a little cuddle-baby of my own will grow and on July 17, 2010 make it's grand debut.