Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Day Graham Crackers Saved My Life

I have been feeling so stinking sick I can hardly walk… let alone work, sleep, or function as a human being. I’ve been going through Saltines like crap through a goose and was even starting to struggle with them. 3 whole boxes is overkill, probably. But I had no idea how else to appease this monster. It is constantly in my throat. Threatening to throw up on a client, on the person next to me at church, on Ken, on Rusty, on the mailman. Who ever is the closest would get it. And get it bad. I can have nothing on my neck. No necklaces, high-button shirts, turtlenecks, even something brazing my neck (like a collar)… egck. I just claw at it constantly. CONSTANTLY! I wake up in the middle of the night (miserable) and I am clawing at my neck. My moms keep telling me to eat. Nothing will make it go away except eating. As long as I am stuffing my face around the clock then the monster sleeps. But if I miss a 15 minute interval… up and roaring and I am feeling like Pukey McSpukey.

So, Ja-wools and I are chitty chatting and she says, “Graham Crackers.” I immediately gagged on the inside but said “Oh, really?” on the outside. Jules should take no offense in this. I gag internally at any mention of food. Even water sometimes. She said they were the perfect snack.
So this morning, on my way into work I stop at the over-priced, holier-than-thou Broulim’s here in Rigby. (I really hate Broulim’s…. stemming from the fact that I really hate the owner of Broulim’s. Another post. Another day.) I go to the cookie cracker row. And get HoneyMaid Graham Cracker Bees. They are mini graham crackers shaped like bees. The detail in the bee is incredible, by the way.

I had already reached the point this morning of going too long without eating. So the monster was monstering and I was miserable and every smell was repulsive and I was achy and scratching my neck.

I get into my office. Sit down. Open the box.

The smell was medicinal. I smiled. I put one of those little graham cracker honey bees in my mouth and have been smiling ever since. It’s the magic drug. The monster is beyond silenced. The monster is appeased, happy, most likely sleeping with content.

Today Graham Crackers Saved My Life.

Last night after spending 2 and a half hours at the doctors office, I was relieved to know that the monster will most likely be permanently silenced by the end of next month (maybe sooner with a little help from Zofran) and from that monster... a little cuddle-baby of my own will grow and on July 17, 2010 make it's grand debut.

14 comments:

Megann said...

Really? REALLY? You're having a baby!!!!??? Ahh! I can't stop smiling right now.

YAY for graham crackers.
Love ya Patty.

Kar said...

Phew, the cat is finally out of the bag!!! And graham crackers. I'm going to have to try that next time I get preggars. Which is soon, I hope. (I'm pro-preggars right this second. It might change in an hour.)

Brett and Tiffany said...

Oh, this is the most exciting news ever! You have made my day! I have been worried about you and hoping you were alright, but now I know! WOHOO! That is so exciting! ARe you going to find out what it is? I feel for you...I got sick every pregnancy...barfing over the toilet all day! Just remember...that baby will be worth the sacrifice!

Julia Marcum said...

I am so happy it helped! I carried a box in my purse, and had them by my bed and in the pantry. Saltines...Schmaltines.

Nat said...

Oh, it's SO nice to find a food that will help with the barfies. YAY! And congrats on the baby news!

Poulsen Family said...

The first thought I had when I read your post was- "Graham crackers are life savors!" I too ate my share of these during my first trimester and (no lie) was eating one when I began your post.
That is AWESOME news- the 'cuddle bug' part, not so much the crummy sickness. Hang in there and Congrats!

johnandjana said...

Patty, I am so excited for you. All thru your post I kept thinking- Did I miss something? Did she announce that she was pregnant and I missed it. It sounds like she has morning sickness! I wonder if she could be pregnant and doesn't know it. Just a crazy Mom thing I know. Anyway, congrats. I have 3 babies due in April, May and July. They are all from the Poulsen genes. Those boys must be studs. Good job Ken!

robcallfamily said...

Congrats! We are so exited for you and Ken! Good Luck with everything.

Emily Empey said...

WAHOOOOOOO!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!

weloveadoption said...

I also thought I had missed something like my mom said. As I was reading I kept thinking what is going on with her. But I am so glad to see that it is a BABY. How fun. We are so excited for you. Congrats!

Gramma n Grampa said...

WHATTTTT?????
OH Myyyyy GOODNESS! THAT IS THE BEST NEWS EVER!
If I could do flips I would be doing a 100+ of them.
July is a great month, we all have July birthdays from our house.
WOW WOW WOW! I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND KEN!

Richard and Carolyn said...

CONGRATULATIONS PATTY!!! That is such great news! That makes me happy. I hope you feel better soon.. if not it will go away in July! Love ya!

spoonTRex said...

YAY!!! Congrats Patty!! I'm so excited for you! I hope the graham crackers keep the monster at bay!!:)

Anonymous said...

spoontrex was me... didn't realize Mark was signed in:P