L is for Lines

Today I was waiting in line at Costco to pickup my prescription.  When I got there I was 5th in a slow line.  By the time one customer was cared for- 4 or 5 other people were in line behind me.  Now, at Costco, a line just kinda forms down one of the aisles and as good citizens and Costco cardholders one would seek out that line and find their place at the end of it. 
After roughly 20 minutes I was second line.  I stood behind an elderly couple... probably in their eighties.  As we were waiting there a man came walking towards the pharmacy from the aisles of groceries.  I'd peg him in his late fifties early sixties.  He was obviously eye-ing the Pharmacy.  And get this... he walks up, sees the line, and takes his place... next to the couple in their eighties.  Not behind them... not at the back of the line where he was supposed to go.  The pharmacist says, "Next" and the man gestures for the really old couple to go first.  Oh how generous he is!  To let the people who have been waiting to go ahead of him.  What a gem.
At this point, I'm getting that really hot ball in my heart.  The one I get before I pick a fight with a stranger. I can feel it coming... an unnecessary quarrel.  So I tell myself, Patty.  Patty.  Listen.  He's older than you.  Respect your elders.  Ken is waiting in the car with the kids.  Just stay calm.  Make this easy and let him go first.  It doesn't matter that he "broke rules."  You're not his mom.  This isn't your place.  Just... leave it.  But my feet started shuffling and I was biting my lips and my hands were white fists.
The elderly couple was swiping their card.  The time was coming.
Out of the corner of my eye I see the line cutter looking at me.  What was his plan?  To pretend he's been in line for 20 minutes?
"Next."
Me and the guy who jipped in line met eyes.
A wave of the hand would have been easy.  I can't do it!
So:
Patty:  Do you think you are next?
Man: (head tilted smiling)  I just need to get some pills.
Patty:  (head tilting and also smiling)Yeah.  We all just need to get some pills.  That's why we're waiting in line at the Pharmacy.
Man:  Yeah.  But it'll be so quick.
Patty:  I don't think you should be allowed to cut everyone in line because you think it'll be "so quick."  Mine will be quick too.  The people behind me will be quick.  We all planned on just running in and running out.  Didn't work that way today.
Man:  I don't really need to be in that line for what I need.
Patty:  Hmmm.  Really?  I had to be in that line.  But-  if you think you can get what you need in less than 30 seconds.  You can go.  And I will be timing you!

The guy smiled.  As he was walking towards the counter he asked for a bottle of some Gold Mineral Vitamins or something.  The pharmacy tech tossed him a bottle that was kept on the shelves behind the counter.  The man caught it, as he was still walking.  He held it up to me with a wink and smile.  I couldn't help but smiling back.  He gave me a pat on the back and told me "Thanks."  We had bonded.
See?  All kind of fun things can happen when you're waiting in line.

But uh... as a P.S.... it doesn't always end so pleasantly.
This one time I fought with a man a Winco about bagels.  Post here.
Or another time this lady at the University Bookstore wouldn't let me sell books back.  Enjoy here.
One time a neighbor passive aggressive-ly put an op ed article in my mailbox about dogs barking.  That didn't work.  Read the face to face confrontation here.

I don't look for these situations.  They find me. 
That and I listen to a lot of Jock Jams.

Last Year's A to Z : L is for Longevity  I think the perfect age is 60 and I explain why I can't wait to have my AARP card.

Dollar Store Drama

I was at the Dollar Store this past week.  Very interesting (and somewhat stinky,sticky, and grimy) place.  I needed a picture frame for Koley's room.  Boom.  Dollar store.  There were 3 people in front of me in the singular lane they had open.  Both had carts full of things.  No biggie.  I never mind waiting in line.  The first lady was wearing this big wavy shawl and looked to have cleared out the Christmas decorations.  The checker was scanning all these miniature nutcrackers and he was on like the 17th one and she said, "Wait.  Are those only a dollar?"  Apparently I was the only one who thought that was funny because I busted out laughing. Aaaaaand no one else did. The checker didn't even look up he just said, "Yeah."  And the woman ran off to get more. 
I mean.
Come on.
Everything in the Dollar Store is a dollar.  It's the premise of the store.  Everything in her cart he scanned before the nutcrackers were a dollar.  Each of the 17 scanned so far were a dollar.  How did she not grab hold of the idea?  I figured by the looks of her cart she certainly knew everything was a dollar.  She walked in under the huge green sign that said "Everything's 1.00"  Her total was $133.92.  I think the most I've spent at the dollar store was $12.  On balloons.
Then there was a couple that was probably in their late 60s or early 70s.  They had around 20 things and as they were leaving and I saw the man's cane leaning against the scan belt thing.  So, I said, "Sir, you forgot your cane."  I said it with a smile, may I add.  The man said all gruffly, "It's a WALKING STICK!" 
Sure looked like a cane to me... but it being the Yuletide... I kept it in and said, "Well, I don't want you to be missing your walking stick."  Still smiling! 
He snaps back:
"I only use it for balance!"
.....
I was kind of at a loss for words.  I mean.  I obviously offended him by calling it a cane.  Which it was.  Crooked top.  Rubber stopper on the end. That little black cloth loop used to put around your wrist.  Used for balance.  It was a cane by definition.
But I didn't want this old guy more bent of shape than he already was.
I smiled at him and said, "Merry Christmas, sir."
"It's not a cane!  I don't need a cane!  This is a walking stick!"
At this point he was shaking his cane at me.  And I figured... what the hell.
"Well I'm SORRY I called your walking stick a cane.  I'm not up to date on the differences.  It looked like a cane.  You were going to forget it.  I was reaching out!  Helping a brother in need!  From now on...."
He interrupted:
"Young lady!  This is a walking stick!  Look at it!  Not a cane!  I get dizzy sometimes!  I have weak knees!  It's to help me walk!  It's a walking stick!"
"That's a cane. And I think someone just told you it was a walking stick to make you feel better."
"You're WRONG!," he shouted.  His wife started tugging at his coat. 
"I just didn't want you to forget it, man."
"I'm not forgetful!  And I don't need a cane!"
Erroneous on both accounts.
But, I told him Merry Christmas again and gave him a wink.
And you know what?
He winked back.

Goodwill to men after all.