The New Leaf-let

As excited as I was (am continually am) about Spanx I've realized that I can't rely on Spanx for everything. Yes, they are a remarkable and a remarkably easy fix. But what about swim suits? I love love love la-HOVE to swim. If Ken and I go do an overnighter there must be a pool at the hotel. If I am at work and it's hot I take a dip in Rigby Lake on my lunch hour. I swim every chance I can. And I can't seem to imagine wearing Spanx under my swim suit. I thought I might be able to but I tried this weekend and nope. Not happening. They come down almost to my knees and look... retarded. So, I am keeping my Spanx but starting to get in shape.


Apparently if you write things down it works better. You have a better chance of succeeding or what not. (I will be a millionaire. I will be a millionaire. I will be a millionaire.) So, how bout up the chances and write it down where thousands will read it here on my blog every single day! That way I won't only have my own conscience to answer to, I'll have all you whistle-blowers too! I am truly a genius.


So, I am not going to diet- because I believe in setting myself up for success. Ken lost 25 pounds in one month from getting on the treadmill. Now, I know that he is a male and therefore can simply wish to be thinner and it will happen. Females aren't as lucky. But my mom lost 20 pounds in 10 weeks by getting on the treadmill everyday. So that is my course of action. Treadmill every day. Starting tonight.



FYI:
Current Stats:
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 167..... ewww.
Goal: 152
Deadline: None. No Pressure. No Hype.

This picture does fairly good justice. I think my face alone weighs 25 pounds. Yoiks!

You will be kept posted.

Spanx Me!

I never should have posted about Ari. I've gotten all smiley and giggly every time I've logged on to update my blog. Zing goes the strings of my heart.

Today we are talking about Spanx. Have you heard of these miraculous pieces of underclothing? They were all over Big Idea with Donny Deutsche and in the Oprah magazine about 6 months ago. I never gave them a second thought. Until last night. Last night Ken and I went to the Mayor Scholarship Fund Benefit dinner. (Do we sound like big wigs or what?) I am so into see and be seen. No wait I am so into CNBC. I get those mixed up. So we were planning on going to this benefit dinner (which was spectacular and motivating and I am now on the board... more on that later homies.) And I didn't really know what to wear. Julie came to my office at 5 and was doing my hair and we were trying to mentally go through my limited wardrobe. It was a formal dress code but you weren't supposed to wear a formal. I also didn't want to wear a flowery church dress or a business suit or outfit. So that basically left me with nothing. So we were really wracking our brains. And bless Julie ten times over. She is such a saint. She'd come up with an idea stemming from my pencil skirt which was the one article we agreed would be right.
She'd say: You can wear that skirt, your shiny stilettos, and a soft ivory short sleeve turtle neck.
Me: I don't have an ivory short sleeve turtle neck.
Jules: Okay, what colors do you have?
Me: None. I don't have a short sleeve turtle neck.
Jules: Hmmm.... (crickets) .... I KNOW! You can wear a gray boat neck with one of my glitzy necklaces.
Me: I don't have any boat neck shirts.
Jules: Hmmmm..... No biggie. Let's think.

She must have come up with 25 different combos. None of which I had. So, the solution was made to wear the bridesmaid dresses I wore to her wedding. Which was a stellar STELLAR idea. It was dressier than a church dress. But didn't have all the sparkle and shimmer of a formal. Perfect. Perfect except for the fact that I wore a corset to the wedding. "Jules, where am I going to get a corset before I have to leave." "Oh, you don't need a corset just wear your Spanx." "My what?" "Spanx." "I don't have those. Where do I get those?" "CVS, Walgreens, anywhere like that." So, I took her advice and WOWZAS! These are incredible.
Spanx look like biker shorts. Super tight and start in between your knees and your buttocks. They go all the way up to the bosoms. I put them on and looked like I lost 10 pounds I am not kidding. They suck everything in. They add shape to may out of shape butt and make love handles, rolls, muffin tops, everything dis. a. ppear. Disappear! All for $6.98! And to add sugar to my sundae they are horrifically comfortable. I can't even tell I am wearing them. Okay here it comes. Nerd Alert. I am wearing them right now. I wore them to work today. I looked through my closet this morning and rejected four or five shirts because this shows this flaw and that emphasizes this... and then... I saw my Spanx. Laying on the floor from last night. My redemption. I put them on and now I can wear all those shirts I was getting ready to donate! Sa-WEET!
The only downside I can see in this discovery is it is really going to take some serious motivation to ever want to go to a gym again. And why do I need a gym when I've got these power-panties? Spanx for life.

Pure Gold

I have gone one step beyond celebrity crush. And have developed a fictional celebrity crush. Ari Gold. Something about him...mmmm. Gives me chills. Ari Gold is from the HBO series Entourage. Which I love. He is a first-class jerk. Mean, insensitive, pushy. Oh and I can't get enough of him! I love the way he talks. How coy he is. How he can give an insult and you don't even realize it until after you repeat it a few times because you're so hypnotized. How he checks out every single girl as they walk by. How he yells. At everyone. In real life I would never want to be with Ari Gold or a person like Ari Gold. But he is so desirable! It's hard to stomach. Whoever tailors his suits is a genius.

Another Planet

I grew up with all girls. 4 sisters. 4 Barbie-loving, dress-up playing, girly-game creating sisters. So, when we babysat for the Ashcrafts I didn't know what I was in for. The Ashcrafts have 4 boys. Ethan, Thayne, Jeffrey, and Andrew. I thought "I can handle boys." I've babysat boys. But I come to find out boys are way different than girls. Especially when it's ALL boys. When there is one sister (especially if she is older) the boys seem a bit more mellow. They've played house before. They know how to be gentle with a doll. But when it's all boys- well that's a horse of a different color! I like to bring a Kid Kit when I go babysitting. Call me crazy. Or better yet call me prepared. I feel like the kids are better and more fun and easygoing when they have something new to play with. So I brought all my colored pencils, markers, crayons, and coloring books. I brought coloring books of boy things too! Dinosaurs, cars, and spaceships! I was a total flop. Ken brought SpeedRacer Legos. Guess who was the hit? I was literally invisible. Until something spilled or someone got hurt or someone got called "really dumb." Then, suddenly, I was visible and desperately needed. With girls we can sit down and chat and play and color and time flies. With boys we run and wrestle and build and see if we can fly. I have to admit, these boys are so stinking cute I didn't care what they were doing. They were just fun to observe. Am I sounding stalkerish? Ken spent the night helping Ethan build the white car and Thayne build the orange car. Jeffrey was pleased just to watch his big brothers build cars. I even got him to color with me. But as soon as I started taking pictures he was more interested in taking some of his own. Displayed below.

The kids got talent.

I am still available to baby-sit. I will blog about your children after I am through and I will hound you after to let me do it again- but don't let that stop you!

From the Desk Of...

Tax season is over. What a rush. I totally lose/ignore the other part of my life but it is a true adrenaline rush. And when it's all over... it's sad. Almost depressing. Coming down off a rush always is. Good news, I took Thursday the 16th off. All accountants do. Then I only worked Friday morning and headed out. So I've had a few days off and came to work ready to really get this office back under control. Might as well start off blogging right?

Update on the tumor. I met with a neurologist a couple weeks ago who also suggested the medicinal route. He was pretty eccentric and I have to say had a huge bulging forehead. I couldn't stop staring at it! I kept thinking no wonder he is a brain surgeon he has a HUGE brain crammed into that head. So I started taking Bromocriptine (bro-mo-krip-teen). Check it out:



I know, right? Did they dust all the cobwebs off before they gave it to me? Did they retreive it out of the dungeon? Sheesh. It worked great. Stopped all my unusual symptoms and gave me peace of mind. Then it gave me a peice of it's mind and I was living in Puke City. Sick everynight 1 hour and 45 minutes after I took the pills. But I figured it was a small price to pay to get rid of my tumor. When I finished those I started taking Cabergoline. (cab-ur-go-lean). I'm not as sold on this. Some symptoms are coming back and I only take it twice a week. Which is how it is prescribed but I feel like it's not as strong or something. It's gotta be in my head. (Literally... hahaha)


All in all I'm doing great. Kicking @$$ and taking names. Next week I get bloodwork to test the productivity of my meds. To see if my prolactin level is down. I love having something to look forward to.