Thursday, November 3, 2011


Today I went out on that limb and asked someone to come over for lunch.  Gotta make a friend here.  She said she couldn't.  The rejection hit me like a 50 pound tuna sandwich but I bucked up and called someone else.  Also a "no."  I ended up calling 5 different people.  They all said no in different ways.  And not only no to today.  They had excuses for tomorrow too.  Only once did I venture out and ask about Monday.  Apparently she "doesn't plan her calendar out that far."
What is up?
Do I have the gang green? (What is the gang green?)
I wallowed... for about 20 minutes.
Then I sunk deep into despair.  I looked in the mirror and said mean things to myself like:
Take a shower grease ball.
Lose some weight fat bottom girl.
Crack a smile Ms. Demeanor.
Maybe then you'd score a friend.

After my pep talk I have decided I am going to shower and start my Christmas shopping.
I never really believed in retail therapy but all of the sudden it seems like a brilliant idea.
(I love how British people always use "brilliant."  Watch Harry Potter if you don't know what I am talking about.)

And don't feel obligated to leave some sun shiny comment about how wonderful I am.
I know I've got it.  Damn, I've got it in spades.


Julia said...

Now I am wallowing because you didn't call me. Didn't you know that Thursdays I have the car?! :) I am hittin' up some retail therapy myself today. Christmas shopping sounds delightful (also a British term in my book).

Rita Westerbeck said...

You know you are great so you don't sunshiny comments. However, the comments I have for your neighbors are not appropriate to post in a public forum. But I think you could probably figure out what words they are. Who knows what the issue is?? I once lived in a neighborhood where I was completely ostracized and in a very obvious way. I never really knew why I was such a pariah to them but they never included me and would make it obvious that I wasn't included. So once again I will inoke the nonspeakable words. A good trip to the mall can solve lots of problems. Have fun!

Nat said...

I'm the type of person that, if called the day of, I would say "no", because I would feel unprepared, taken off guard. But a call the night before? I would totally do it, if I could. Of course, I don't have a lot of experience in this area because I'm antisocial and seem to have a bit of "gang green" myself, so take my comment with a grain of salt.

Rita Westerbeck said...

BTW gangrene is dead tissue that is smelly and discolored.The gangrenous area is also numb. I am fairly certain you do not have this problem. Now your neighbors may have gangrene of the heart, soul and brain..........

Brett and Tiffany said...

Call me! I will come to lunch and go shopping with you!

Julianna said...

I am always the last one called. The last one picked. The last one invited.

And it's their loss.

Cinderella, the A-Train and Our Little Caboose said...

I have had the same problem before! I love leaving lots of sunshine so here goes, you are awesome...and I will tell you what I tell all my friends. If you say something bad about yourself then you owe 5 good things in return! I expect to receive a report. Serious.

Emily Empey said...

OH PP! I SOO would have come over and had lunch with you! I am one spontaneous person! I do anything at the drop of a hat! Sorry it was a rough one-- I think you are awesome and i just LOVE YOU!

Kar said...

I like that you say "damn" as much as I do. And I just love you. I'm so sorry, dude. Let's have a lunch date tomorrow, noon. We'll both eat tuna. And give each other air high-fives. It will be like we're together again. :) You know I'd come over for lunch in a heartbeat if I was there. Good job on starting your Christmas shopping! Yikes. I'm so not ready for that. I think that deserves a "damn" on my part.