The Magic of Being 30.

Graduating from college.
When I decided to finish my degree (slash start my degree in Positive Psychology) I figured it was just a check mark on my life list.  Something I'm supposed "to do."
But let me tell you!
I feel smarter.
I feel like I can play Sudoku on the hardest level and do the Sunday crossword in the NY Times.
I'm pacing myself and playing on the moderate Sudoku level- mostly because I like going in order.  And I'm trying to keep my book nice.
I keep getting these great ideas for apps.  And in my head I'm saying, "I'll type up the code for that tonight and sell it in the morning!  Ching.  Cool million.  Made."
Now, I don't know how to write code.  I'm not even sure that's what it's called- but I'm confident I can learn it.  And quickly too.
I'm envisioning ways to redesign my house like those people on Inception where they can walk up walls and create any world.  That's me.  Walls removed and rebuilt.  Indoor greenhouses.  Wall to wall sewing machines.  A bread room.  It's just flowing from me.
I've made myself a few cups of tea- because it is my personal belief that smart people drink tea.
Especially teas with names like, "Keemun Concerto" and "Breakfast in Paris."
Those teas have just got smart people written all over it.
Unfortunately, and to my dismay, I still strongly dislike the taste of tea.
But!  I have found that simply holding a mug filled with steeping steaming tea provides the same feeling of intelligence.
See?  Miss Smarty here (that's-a-me) figured that one out with her big college degree.

I've also recently turned 30.
And something magical has been transfixed within me.
The cloud of confidence I normally walk on has grown in magnitude to an out-right thunderhead that is unstoppable.

I am a force.

Someone asks me to do something and I'm like..
Psht!  Yeah.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
I can do it standing on one foot.
I can do it with one hand tied behind my back.

A few people have made the jokes about turning 30 and getting old- and I'm just not on board there.  Why is 30 old?  I feel more like myself now.  More full of life and breath.  More excited than I've ever been.  Being 30 is buoyant.  The uneasiness I had as a "twenty-something" that I didn't even know I had; has vanished.
Now, I feel if someone questioned my parenting abilities, cooking techniques, driving skills, fashion choices, grammar usage, weight gain, or spelling- I can simply say:
"I'm 30.  I've got this."
Because I do.

 

I've got this.

Birthday Eve Thoughts.

Tomorrow I turn 29.
29 seems like a perfect age.
Every year Vicky tells me that the age I am turning was the best year of her life.
She's that way.
Always makes me feel like I am on the brink of something incredible.

29 does seem pretty kick ass.
But 30.  30 seems solid.
30 is like I already kicked a lot of asses so don't mess with me.
It's gonna be a busy year for me with that slogan.
Eh, live in the moment.
That's cliche.
To tell you the truth...I'm not that good at living in the moment.
I mean I think I used to be and I think I will be again.
There are just so many moments of kids crying.
Not wanting to live in those moments so much.
I've never really felt like any one certain age.

Or any certain size.  Clothing wise.
Numbers don't matter all that much to me.
Ha.
Good thing I didn't follow through with that Accounting degree.
Ba-Dump!
I love, love, love birthdays.
My mom used to tell us we were the Queen on our birthdays.
Everyone had to do what we said.
We could have whatever we wanted for dinner.
I thought... This is what it'll be like when I'm a Mom.
It'll be like my birthday everyday.
Every one will listen to me.
I can make whatever I want for dinner.
I'll be Queen everyday.
.......
Ba-Dump!
Sometimes I pretend I'm Cora from Downton Abby when I'm talking to Koley.
That makes me feel like a queen.
I do it a lot.
The secret is to speak softly and use "very" a lot while gently turning your head.
Do you think it's better to be a queen or a princess?
I've always been Patty Patty Princess.
(There's a whole song.)
Queens do seem to be stereotyped as old.
I wonder what my stereotype is?
Not old.
I've been just awful at stereotyping people lately.
I can't break the habit.
I'm stereotyping them as characters from Thomas the Tank Engine.
So maybe that's type-casting?
If someone is really showing off their smarts...
Ugh... SHE'S an Emily.
If someone is obsessing about their looks...
Talk about being a JAMES!
If someone is worrying about nothing for no reason.
Tooo-tal Percy.
People are always making that joke to old people on their birthdays "Turning 29, right?  BAHAHAHA!"
Does that mean this is my last birthday?
From now on I just repeat 29 over and over?
What were you doing when you were 29?
What do you wish you were doing when you were 29?
This is a chance to live vicariously through me, here.
I've got some plans for this year.
Graduate from college.
Read a ton more books.
Jim Gaffigan wrote a book and I was laughing a-loud reading it at Barnes and Noble today.
Putting it on the Amazon Wish List.  Stat.
There's something to do this year!
Knock some items off the ol' wish list.
Treat cho-self.
I'm going to ride my bike more.
And take more pictures with me in them.
Not in a conceited way.
But I have, what, 2500 pictures of Kole and Joey?
Ken's in about a third of those.
And I'm in like 2.
With no makeup and an ugly pink flannel robe on.
I deserve a little better.
I'm 29!
Treat cho-self.
I am going to learn to do more with my hair too.
And finally crack open that fly rod I got for Christmas back in 2010.
I'm feeling good.
I feel settled.
Content.
Excited.
Wondrous.
I feel like me.

Joey is One

July 23, 2012
You came July 2, 2012 at 8:27 AM.  You weighed 8 pounds and 9 oz.  You were 21 inches long.  And guess what?  You have LOTS of dark hair!  Like ME!  That made me so happy.  When you came out you were screeching like a man old alley cat.  It made me and Dad laugh.  You have a mark on your forehead just like Koley had.  His looked like a flower.  Yours looks like a butterfly.  What manly boys!  You are such a sweet baby.  You have big eyes and you love to watch us.  Oh!  And you eat like a pirate.  You're ALWAYS hungry!  You like to sleep sitting up.  Like PapPap "watching sports."  So you sleep in your bouncy chair most nights.  You get really smiley after meals.  And- of course- since you're a Poulsen like us... you love to snuggle.  You're very beautiful.  You're my best boy. 
Love, Mom

All that schmoopey doopey dewey-eyed mommy baby stuff didn't last.  Joey cried.  A lot.  Which made me cry.  A lot.

Recaps:
Am I sad or do I need a snack?
A Note to Joey
I decided to take control.
After 3 months... things worked out for the better.

And now... my little cubber is one.
He's still a little baby.  And he still needs me.  Which warms my heart. 
But now... gets to eat cupcakes and drink milk.

Salute!

Our Deary Deer

This was last week.
But get THIS!
It was Christmas Eve.  The children were nestled all snug in their beds.  Visions of plums danced in their heads.  Yeah.  Kole memorized that entire poem this year... but never got "sugar plums."  Always left it with "plums."  Artistic freedom I suppose.

Me and Ken were too excited to sleep.  We were chatting in bed when we heard all this chomping.  Now, we have a pasture right next to our house and there are horses over there.  We figured it was them.  But it sounded so close!  Ken looked out the window and there were deer right outside our window.
Wait.
It gets better.
There were 8 deer.
Outside our house.
At midnight.
On Christmas Eve.
Whoa.
Santa's out there.

These were taken a couple days ago.  These deer walk right up on my porch.  I feel bad no asking them to come it.  Or offering them a warm drink.
I've got a video of the fox too.
But I don't want to be all braggy and post it.

Laying It Out There

I turned 28.  Feels good.  As Andi said, "28 just SOUNDS elegant. Like you say it with a smile, nod, and with closed eyes."  So now when people ask how old I am that's how I respond "28" while smiling, nodding confidently, and with my eyes whimsically closed.  Of course, no one has asked me yet.  
Bummer.
I think people generally stop asking after you turn 10.  Like you hit double digits.  We can quit counting/asking now.   Ken made my all-time favorite cake.  Angel food cake with real whipped cream icing topped with Heath.  He surprised me with the candles.  Such a dearie.  And the good news is when I'm turning 82 we'll already have the candles for the cake.

As part of my celebration I took a trip back to Idaho.  Ken-mo had to work.  Boo hiss.  So it was just me and the little guys.  The car ride was great aside from all the screaming, whining, kicking, and food throwing done by Koley.  But we arrived.  A little weary... but in one piece.   I stayed at my Mom's which is as close to Heaven (aside from that birf-day cake) as it gets.  I napped.  I hot tubbed.  I watched TV.  I remember seeing my kids...but mostly Grandma Ginger had them.  She was either rocking Joey or driving trucks with Kole.  Or both.  All I had to worry about was whether I wanted Ranch or a Vinaigrette on my salad.  For my biggest news Joey suddenly snapped out of his devil-like trance and started sleeping at my mom's.  Sure he still had his fuss-bucket time but it was so much shorter.  And then he slept.  In the way that gives the phrase, "I slept like a baby" its validity.  From 11:00-6:00.  Oh, I am reborn.  He is reborn.  And he's kept it up too.  2 kids isn't so bad once you start sleeping more than 3 hours a night.  I'm borderline enjoying this.  

Here's the highlight reel:

28. Certainly a Peak of life.
(Those old lady arms are really photo-shopped on.  Mine are trim, sleek, and muscular.)

Loves loves loves tucking his shirt in for church.
And standing on the counter certainly was a treat.

Monkey-Watching with Granny Sheri

Such a playful, fun, doting Granny. 
Kole La-HOVED being back at the Tautphaus Park Zoo.
Especially with a Granny to play with.

After an hour or so of swimming in the Hot Pool at Gramma Ginger's, Kole needed some nourishment.  Via Lunchables.  Eaten in the nude.  Kole threw his inhibitions and propriety to the wind and snacked out.  With it all out.

A needed and joyous reunion with Natters.

Koley at the Splash Park back at home.
He likes going in mouth first.

Dad making it a leetle more fun.  As usual.

Kole is Two.

Official Birthdate: July 18
Celebrated:  July 18- 21.  The kid loves to party.  Or maybe he just likes singing "Happy Birthday" and blowing out candles.

Favorite color:  Green.  Everything is green.  Not in reality of course.  But if you ask him what color something is he says, "Gween! I like it!"

Favorite food:  Hot dogs.  He makes me so proud.  I also just introduced him to taquitos.  Big hit.  BIG hit.

Hobbies:  Trucks.  (<--- still.....) Blowing bubbles.  Well watching Ken blow bubbles.  Producing art.  His favorite medium to work with is stickers.  Pool parties with Triston.  Taking drives in the car.  If you ask Kole what he wants to do and the answer isn't "drive trucks" it will probably be, "ummmm.... take a drive?"  I love love LOVE it when he says that.  Car time is as close to being by myself as it gets these days.

Favorite person:  Dad.  Who Kole will occasionally call Kenner.  All day long it's "Dad?  Coming?  Dad?  Coming?"  Sometimes I want to sit him down and square off and tell him that I am important too.  I'm the one doin' all the work around here.  But you know?  Kole loves me.  Lots.  And more importantly, I love him.  Lots.  Adults shouldn't look to children for validation of their own lives.  Adults should give validation to kids.  Too often I see it going the wrong way.  Parents asking kids to love them.  It's against nature if you ask me.

Favorite word:  Poop.  I know it is not polite and it's gross and I shouldn't let him say it... but he laughs so hard.  He can be in the middle of a tantrum and if you say "poop" he starts laughing and dancing and being good again.


Lifetime goal:  Poop on the floor.  Anytime I take Kole's diaper off he runs away all nakey screaming "I poop on the floor!  I poop on the floor!"  Which he doesn't and he never has but he'll run away and crouch and just hope something comes out.  I thought... potty training?  Nope.  Hates the toilet.  Maybe I'll lay some newspaper out and pretend he's a puppy.


Favorite thing to say to Dad:  "Dad, I need you."  "Drive this one."  "Snuggle?"


Favorite thing to say to Mom:  "Mom stinks!"  "No cookies!"  "Eat your dinner!"

Can you tell who his favorite is?  And what I apparently say to him all the time?

Say It's Your Birthday! Nernernerner NER ner ner!

Kenner is the newest college graduate in our family.  He officially graduated May 12th.  But, he is still waiting for his diploma in the mail to make it official official.  He also turned 29 on Saturday.  (He's getting so much older than me.)  So we had a slamming jamming whamming ka-bamming party for him. 
It started at 3 AM in between Friday and Saturday.  I never know... is it 3 AM Friday night?  3 AM Saturday morning?  *lots of shrugging, confused eyebrows, and squinty eyes* 
I had got some birfday decorations for him.  I know that's what kids like.  But you'd be surprised at how well adults react to a little extra attention.  (Try applauding the next time someone you love comes in the room.)  I'm not sleeping that much right now (or for the next 5 weeks) anyhow.  All the bathroom breaks, crampage, and all around discomfort make for really restless nights.  So, getting up to decorate is no biggie.  Plus I had all the balloons blown up and hidden already.  I figured if I did it around 3... a time when my body normally wakes up... I could finish in an hour and be back in bed by 4.  That plan would have been perfect except at like 3:20 a big fat ugly spider ran across the kitchen floor and I was frozen on a kitchen chair for about a half hour waiting to see where it went and if it was coming back out.  So I finished up about 4:35.
Saturday morning, Ken went down to make us breakfast... he didn't know I already had Sweet Orange Rolls cooking for him... hehehe.  I'm amazing. Tell your friends. Me and Kole were making our way down the steps when Ken popped around the corner, having seen the kitchen, with his face lit up like a bug zapper.  "Clean it up!" he teased.  And then he laughed and gave me a big old smoochy.

His birthday continued with a trip to The Air Show at the Hill Air Force Base.  Which was free.  Which I am still shocked about.  How do they make things free?  Kole and Ken really loved it.  Lots of big trucks.  Planes.  Helicopters.  You could walk through hangars and those big dump plane things.  Are they called cargo planes?  We were there about an hour when the rain was moving in.  And it was a fricking cold windy rain.  I think Kole's favorite part was riding a bus back from and to the car.

That afternoon Ken's parents came down for cake.  I made it and it was da bomb.  I made Pittsburgh Catholic Wooden Spoon Cake.  Yum.  Yum.  Yum.  When Kolester went to bed I immediately broke out the cake and candles.  I thought I would write a "2" and a "9" on the cake for twenty-nine since there's only 24 in a box and I didn't want to use the whole box.  Well.  I did that.  And used the whole box (minus 2).  But it looked lovely.

He blew them all out on his first try.  No girlfriends I guess.
Ken is really maturing in his golden years.  Lifting heavy things for his pregnant wife, bathing Koley every night without my help, fixing the bed all by himself, reading learning books. He even started a Facebook page for himself.  Been a long time coming on that one.
And now, of course, that's all he wants to do.  Check his page.  See who commented.  See who accepted his friend request.  He's a newbie at it.  And it's cute.