Thursday, January 24, 2013

5 Step Wonder

A couple days ago one of my neighbors called and said she had just pulled a hot loaf of bread out of the oven and wanted to bring it over.  (Ca-CHINGA!)  I obliged her.  Who am I to not let someone serve?  The call was a nice heads up and as I passed a mirror I realized the call was a necessity really.  I mean....
Patty.
Look at yourself.
For starters its 5:00 PM and you are wearing a robe.  Are you sick?  Are you drunk?  Have you totally given up?  (<--- check.) 
Under the robe was one of Ken's t-shirts that was covered in baby puke, rice cereal, applesauce, and Kole snot.  I was wearing pajama pants with holes in them, fuzzy socks that didn't match, and, you guessed it (!) no bra. 
Since Christmas I have dressed (Can I call that dressed?) this way.... oh... ?.... everyday.  And declared each day, "A Comfy Day!"  I'm the mom and can make such declarations.  But, as I saw myself in the mirror I just blushed.  I was so embarrassed.  I had let myself go.  And all this time I thought that happened sometime in my mid 30s not late 20s.  All I was missing was the bad haircut.
I instigated a new 5 Minute 5 Step Emergency Preparedness System.
I've used it multiple times since in order to get ready in less than 5 minutes.

Step 1.  Apply bra.
Step 2.  Brush teeth.
Step 3.  Get dressed.  (Nothing fancy.  But jeans and a shirt.  That's yours.  That fits.)
Step 4.  Bronzer, mascara, lip gloss or chap stick.
Step 5.  Sock bun.

If you really wanna knock 'em dead put in a pair of earrings.  Studs probably.
What I love about this:
I instantly look presentable but not overly presentable.  I don't want to look like I am going out or like I got dressed up for someone.  Even though I did.  I want to look like a mom.  Just a mom that has it put together.  The bra really does wonders.  And sometimes, when I am brushing my teeth at night before bed I have been asking myself... Is this my first time doing this today?  Usually... yes.  Gross.  Sad.  Despicable.  Putting on jeans is a big deal.  I've been saying I'm not going anywhere why get dressed?  Um.  Because you're human?  To set an example for your kids?  To feel a part of the day?  To not go overboard? Going overboard.  Meaning... when you wear sweats all day everyday... it's hard to gauge when you've had enough to eat.  Have I made myself clear on where I am there?  The bronzer, mascara, and lip gloss make me look alive and bright without looking like I tried too hard.  And the sock bun.  My new obsession.  I feel like a ballerina every time I do one.  It's elegant but it can also be saying, "I've got a lot to do today.  I can't be bothered with my hair."  Which is the message I feel I have been expressing with such hairstyle.
So.  Voila.  5 minutes.  5 steps.  And you look ready.  For unexpected visitors.  Or warm bread.

I'm in heaven.
Oh.
AND!
This reality check gave me another... and after tipping the scale at One.  Seven.  Zero.
I went to the gym for the first time since September.  I did 3.5 relatively quick miles on the elliptical and felt basically bed stricken.  I couldn't move.  I couldn't bend.  It hurt so bad.  Ken says that's good.  I'm thinking I might need another 4 month break.

7 comments:

Chris Loves Julia said...

I follow that exact 5 step system!!! Except sometimes I put on a hoodie instead of a bra. ;)

Jeremy Bates said...

I believe the axiom "No pain, no gain" is much overrated. lol

I try to walk (that's real walking in the outdoors) at least 45 minutes a day.

Hey, it's 2013 and bras are optional. I am sure your hubby wouldn'y mind, indoors that is.

Cheers!

Juli said...

Honey... I'm at 173 and that's AFTER losing 23 pounds! Seriously, Youngest is ten, I think it's safe to lose the baby weight now. :)

The thing I love and hate about the PO is that I don't have to wear a uniform. Which means the sweats I slept in last night? You guessed it! They double as comfy work clothes. And when I put make up on at work no one recognizes me.

vicks27 said...

I feel you, girl. I've been home sick all week, and I finally took a shower today and took off the sweat pants I'd been wearing THE WHOLE TIME.

...Also 170 is my goal weight :/

SkippyMom said...

This sounds like the stupidest tip, but I swear after herding 5 kids for years, I found the one thing that assures I am UPS guy presentable should I have someone unexpectedly knock on the door.

Are you ready? Life changing, I swear. . .Put on your shoes when you get out of bed. I know, I know - but here's the thing. We don't wear our shoes in the house, but I have a few pair that I can that won't dirty the floors/carpets and are comfy. So, if I have to put on shoes, I have to put on an outfit to go with them,right? And they are usually Uggs or sneakers, nothing fancy - but if I put on pants and a top, well, I am going to brush my hair too.

I told you it sounds odd, but it works. Especially now that I am sick and I am supposed to stay in bed a lot more, just the act of putting on shoes motivates me out of my "woe is me" funk and I usually end up taking the dog for a drive or I walk around the mall.

Your new [to me] pic' is gorgeous. I doubt you ever look bad, baby puke or no. :D

SkippyMom said...

PS - I meant that the pic is new to me, not that I may be the only person that think the pic is beautiful. heehee

Oh and you mentioned a thing called a bra? What pray tell is this magical thing? ::wink:: I am a whisper shy of an A cup [barely a B] and the shelf tank tops are a god send for this old body. Support, they're cute and I don't have to wrestle with a bra [that I don't ::sigh:: actually need.]

Kar said...

Haha! I love you. This is so me. I sometimes wish my hair was long again so I could do the sock bun thing.