"J" is for Justified

Being 27 weeks pregnant (that's nearly7 months... which is just under 200 days... which is 54.7% of a year) I feel completely justified in the following:

1.  No longer finding it amusing when someone says "You're not really even showing."
Really?!  You don't think so?!  You think I always look like I stuffed a beach ball under my shirt?  How thoughtful of you!  And I suppose the accompanying back pain is from all the pianos I move.

2.  Laying off the fruits, veggies, yogurt, kale, hummus, spinach, and all other mildly average healthy food Ken insists on feeding me and pigging out on whatever I want. 
The only thing I want to eat every day is Tampico Stuffed Chicken from Garcia's.  I've even started dreaming about it.  There is simply no substitute.  Though, I'll take pizza for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dinner number 2.

3.  Wearing scrubs.
This morning I put on a pair of scrubs.  They are big and flowy and cover my massive ass-ive.  We have a little Tot Lot at our apartment complex and a mom there asked if I was a nurse.  "No."  She then ran down the list of other people who wear scrubs; a medical assistant, a dental hygienist, an actual dentist.  When I told her I was a retired accountant that was pregnant she was shocked.  So shocked she couldn't think of anything to say.  Nice recovery lady.  Word to the wise:  Next time you see someone in scrubs just say "Good Morning."  When I see someone out in public wearing sweats- I don't ask if they are a bum.

4.  Having a Mom Butt.
Yeah.  It's the ugliest thing in the world when a butt sags to the back of one's knees.  Reminding me of some kind of old worn out horse.  But- last night... I saw that my once perky peach-shaped tushie... looked like saggy old grocery bags.  In my defense, maternity pants place pockets on the weirdest angles.  But, even without that excuse, it's demoralizing.

Not my actual hiney.

5.  Wearing the same 4 outfits in a cycle.
Just get used them everyone.  They are what I feel the best in.  And in case you didn't know one maternity shirt cost $35.  And that is steep.

6.  Not counting the weeks anymore.
I wrote them on my calendar so i didn't have to retain that information (and so I had something to put on my calendar).  Plus, unless one has had a baby, the whole weeks system is pretty pointless.  Same with when someone asks how old Kole is.  I always round and say a year and a half.  Not 21 months.  The math is too hard for some people.  ("21 months.  Okay 21 minus 12 is... .... well 21 minus 10 is 11... but... what does that mean... I'll have to subtract one more.... So that would give.... 11 minus 1... 10.  10 what?    There's 12 months in a year.  Why am I dealing with 10s and 11s?  Okay 21 minus 12 for one year is... ... ...it's hard to carry in your head.")

7.  Wanting to buy new stuff for the baby.
Kole has so many clothes left over to pass along to Cub #2.  They are in good condition and perfectly wearable.  But I just love going over to the baby section and looking at cute new outfits.  And, I mean, will he have the same taste as Kole?  Will his preferences lead more towards punk rocker or more towards preppy?  Will he want to wear the All-American boy themed wardrobe Koley had?  Don't know.  Don't know.  I'd hate to start off on the wrong foot with him.

8.  Taking a nap.  Every day.
I can.  I do.  I don't feel guilty.  At.  All.

9.  Not telling the name.
It's the one we picked.  And some people like it and some people just say they like it.  But it's what he will be called.  Nothing you say, nor any look you give will change my mind.  But a shifty look or an extra long pause between blinks on your part might turn me into a crying hormonal mess.  Because I'm pregnant.  And need all kinds of acceptance I don't normally need.  So, please.  Just believe the lie when I say, "We haven't picked a name yet."  And do yourself one further.  Don't give any suggestions.  He's my baby.