Monday, May 6, 2013

Dream Woman

There are some things I wished I liked.  Things that upon liking would (in my own mind) make me cooler.  I know I'm already topping the cool-o-meter with my ....  ....  confidence.  I like me and that's something.  But I think I would be a more rounded individual if the following fit in my repertoire.

1.  Iced Tea.  I was walking out the gas station swinging a bottle of Iced Tea for my father in law and I just felt so cool and trendy.  I felt summer-y and relaxed.  When I realized it was the Iced Tea that made me feel that way I was totally bummed.  Because, I've tried Iced Tea, and I hate it.

2.  Regular Tea.  Ken downs herbal tea all winter long.  It smells so good.  And sipping tea, while reading?  Why can't that be me?  Because tea tastes like dirty water.  So I have to drink hot chocolate whilst reading... which is harder- because I load that mother up with marshmallows and then it's more a dessert you need to sit and eat.

3.  The Office.  Such a hit, hit show.  So many references are made to it/from it.  And... after Season 2... it lost it's fizzle for me.  And I lost some fizzle with society.  Wert.

4.  Gladiator Sandals on me.  I love gladiator sandals.  They are sexy and fun and look great with pants, leggings, skirts, shorts, dresses, bathing suits.  But when I wear them I looked like an actual gladiator.  With disproportionate muscle-y manly legs.  I look like Goliath.  I thought maybe it was just the black ones... like the color chopped in a bad spot... but the gold looks pretty bad on me too.  Am I wearing them wrong?  Is there something more than just putting them on your feet that I don't know about?

5.  Greek yogurt.  Trendy.  Healthy.  A little snobby.  All things I'm aspiring to be.  (wink!)  But Greek Yogurt makes me gag.   Even the smell.  Egh.  *shoulders up to ears cringing*

6.  The ability to kill spiders.  I've texted my neighbor and offered her $5 to come kill a spider for me.  I've trapped them under bowls or cups and put Post It notes on top saying, "There's a spider in here."  I've stood staring at them holding the vacuum tube for 30+ minutes.  But I just can't kill them.  And I wish I could.  Because I really look up to (and depend on) people who can.  It would just make me a little more self sufficient. Ya know?

Funny thing here.  After reading this list- I can't bend on any of them. If these 6 things were part of who I am... I would consider myself near perfect.  I guess I'm just 94% there.  And, hey, 94%,  That's a solid "A."  I'm pleased with that.


vicks27 said...

I'm with you on all of these but the Greek Yogurt, buddy. And I think you're pretty cool.

Brett and Tiffany said...

I DO NOT like spiders either. when we lived in Logan I put a big one under a cup once...then I made a neighbor kill one for me too!
Greek Yogurt-tried it! Didn't like it either! Maybe if I try it again?

Dawn said...

I have the same problem with the Gladiators. Such a bummer. Love the dirty water image- SO TRUE!! ;)

Poulsen Family said...

Loved this post. Clever and fun to read! My advice try, try again; at least for killing spiders. You can do it!

Juli said...

Items 1 and 2... I am a tea freak. But the de-caffeinated kind, oh and the ice tea must be diet because of the Diabetes thing... so yeah... not as cool.

Items 3 & 4... no thanks on both. Many legs and no interest. Feeling your pain darlin'.

Item 5... I FINALLY found Greek yogurt I could learn to love. Downed two containers in fact before I spun it around and found it had Gluten in it. Seriously! Who the heck puts wheat gluten in their yogurt?!?! I was sick for hours. :(

Item 6... I can kill all bugs... except the woolly bear caterpillars. Way too cute for squishing.

Kar said...

You know, I've never tried Greek yogurt. I assumed it was yummy. I'm glad you have forewarned me. I shall be avoiding it.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the whole spider thing. They creep me out!