Monday, June 21, 2010

Enough is Enough


There are in between 12 and 19 days before the baby of mine arrives. I've been just a brewing over a few things. For the last 8 months and 21 days I have listened to people tell me

how to gestate my baby...
eat whatever you want.
only eat fruit and veggies.
walk everyday for 45 minutes.
drink 9-12 glasses of water a day.
put your feet up.
take fish oils.
don't put on too much weight.

how to deliver my baby...
you have to do a home birth.
you have to have an epidural.
you have to skip the epidural and do a spinal block.
you have to go all natural.
you have to do a water birth.
you have to use a birthing ball.

how to raise my baby...
let him cry it out.
rock him until he falls asleep.
let him sleep with you and Ken.
only use Huggies.
only use Pampers.
formula feed.
breast-feed.
don't vaccinate.
put him in front of the TV when you need a break.
carry him in a sling all day, no matter what

You get the point? I loved talking about and getting tips about the baby up until my pregnancy reached about 8 months and 18 days. Last Friday, for some reason, I couldn't listen to another piece of advice. And I no longer felt right sharing my plans with everyone. Because my plans obviously clash with the plans Person A, B, C, or D have for me, Ken, and the baby. But guess what? It's not your baby. You don't get to decide anything about this baby. So sorry.

Now, advice I have received from family and friends has been warmly accepted. I only get angry when I announce what we have decided to do or try and I am met with "Oh, that'll never work." or "Are you serious? That's ridiculous. You have to __________." Um.... no I don't. And please be quiet now.

What I have learned? If you wanted to have your baby while hanging from the roof rafters of a barn you could find books, articles, and people that support that technique 100%. If you feel that's right for you- do it!

The decisions you make regarding the baby, even before they come, are very personal. And, for me, those decisions are inspired. I feel as if I have been guided to know what to do. I've relied on the promptings I have received and I know that what I am doing is right for me and my family.

It takes confidence though. Confidence to tell people, strangers, family, anyone that this is what I have decided and thank you for being so supportive- but please support me even if I don't do it your way. You'd be surprised at how turned off people get when you say you are not planning on doing something the way they want you to.

A mother must have an extreme sense of self-respect and self-confidence. How else do they stand up to everyone for what they know is right for their children.

Self-respect? Self-confidence? I've got 'em in spades.
Bring it.

"I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
Psalms 139

5 comments:

Karlenn said...

I LOVE THAT SCRIPTURE!! I should print it out and put it on my mirror in my bathroom. I absolutely agree that we are each guided on our paths in this baby-bearing thing by the spirit. We each do what feels comfortable for us. I hope I haven't been an unsolicited advice-giver. Since you told me a couple of months how you planned to go through labor and delivery, I'm keeping my mouthie shut. I know you will do a great job, no matter how you decide to do it. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW SOON KOLE WILL BE HERE!! P.S. Sorry I wasn't at church yesterday. I got yet another lovely UTI. I feel so crummy still. But the antibiotics will start working soon...

Brett and Tiffany said...

Amen Patty! You do what you feel is right for your family! You go girl! You are an awesome mom already to have discovered that the decisions are YOURS! p.s. Fun baby shower! I want to see pics of your nursery too!

The Empey Fam! said...

i agree! I totally hated that as well! people would tell me what to do or not to do- I think i did the opposite just to piss them off!! haha Do whats right for you and your baby! You will be a great mother and i CANT wait to see him! :)

megan said...

I totally know what you mean! I hope I haven't given you annoying tips! LOL You have to rely on your motherly instincts and on what you know is right for you and your family. I'm so excited for you!! I can't believe he'll be here so soon!! I hope labor goes well for you!

Chris-baby and Jules-a-bug said...

I stopped reading the books, taking advice and watching a baby story by 36 weeks. I was suffering from TMI. Major information overload. Once I stopped, I felt at peace and more confident than ever. Glad to hear you are at that stage.