Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Upward

The Baby App on my iPatty informed me today that there are 40 days left until my due date.  With the c-section scheduled for one week prior to that... I have 33 days left.  1 month and 2 days.
A part of me is so sad.
This new baby is (yet another) miracle in my life.  I am excited in many ways to be growing my family. 
But...
I'm going to miss how things are now.
With the 3 of us.

Things are so easy right now.  We have a simple and lovely life with Koley.  It revolves entirely around him.  (The new baby will be good for that.)  This weekend I was thinking about (and treasuring) my life right now.  It seems perfect.  It's not.  At all.  I mean you've heard me complain about the overload of trucks and the occasional underload of sleep.  It's trucks all day and all night and at all meals.  It's the same books five thousand times.  It's the same request for toast with "buddur" and "yelly" and "no tut." <--- no cut.  We go to the same parks and get excited over the same slides.  He dig the same holes in the same sand boxes.  The life I have with Kole is very much the same from one day to the next.  But it's secure.  It makes us happy.  I don't want to change it.  I feel like I know him so well.  And like he knows me so well.  I know a sleepy cry from a hungry cry to a hurt cry to a frustrated cry.  I know when "no" means "yes" and "yes" means "on the double."  I know which outfits he likes to wear and which ones he wears because I make him.  I know his favorite toys and favorite songs and favorite words and how to make him laugh until he can't breathe. 
And I just feel like when the new baby comes that's all going to change.  Kole won't be my baby anymore.  He'll be my big boy. 
... and I'm going to miss my little baby boy.
I already do. 

5 comments:

Juli said...

Funny, I felt this way when I married Tony. I love our family of five, but there are times when I really miss our family of 3.

The upside really is though, that there will be moments when you will be back to three again... when the baby is sleeping or when one is at school and you will be just "3" again. And you will appreciate it so much more.

Plus, four makes for so much more blog fodder. :)

DoublClik said...

Aww pat, I'm glad u wrote about this, will I be a mom who knows all of that about my little one too?? I loved the part "and what he wears because I make him"

Brett and Tiffany said...

You may be losing your "baby boy", but you will love watching him become the "big brother"!

Joshua said...

In some ways it gets easier. And then The Girl starts Kindergarten in 10 weeks and I'm just not ready for that.

Lynn Proctor said...

i think all moms feel this way when the second baby comes--it will be okay don't worry:)