Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Taste the Rainbow

When Julie was on her mission I was getting ready to send her her weekly letter. Yes. Weekly letter. I was a very devoted pen pal. Anyway- I wanted to put something special in there. A little extra kick, you know? So I had fun size packs of Skittles on my desk at work and Jules LOVES Skittles. Chocolate makes her gag- but Skittles (and all fruity candy) she loves. So I take a pack and stick it into the envelope and head over to the post office. Now, working in a professional administrative occupation I often go to the post office. I know who the nice tellers are and who is a real pain. I am in line and I am eyeing up the employees trying to pick who I want to go to. Even though we don't really get to pick at all.... it's just who is available at that time. So, sure enough I'm up and the available girl is the skinny helmet-haired blond spinster one. She's mean. She never smiles. Which makes her mean.

I had her my envelope and ask how much it is to mail it. She feels the envelope, crinkles the envelope, shakes the envelope. (Just the price, please?)

Mean Mail Lady: Is there a necklace in here?
Nice Me: Nope! Skittles, close though.
Mean Mail Lady: Are you aware that Skittles are perishable?
Nice Me: Yeah- but I don't think they are going to perish in the three days it takes to get to Illinois.
Mean Mail Lady: Hmmm. Well this is too thick to send through the mail system anyway. Sorry.

I was getting pretty frustrated. I felt like she was purposely targeting me. Like she really did not want to mail this envelope because it was mine.

Nice Me: Oh I don't care if they get smooshed. It's just candy. She won't mind.
Mean Mail Lady: I'm sorry ma'am but I cannot mail this for you.
And she handed me my envelope back! I was pretty shocked. But I was determined to mail it. Maybe I'll just buy some stamps, put those on the envelope and drop it in the box outside! Genius!
Nice Me: Oh well. Thanks anyway. I would like to buy a few stamps please. (I avoid eye contact with her fearing she knows my plan.)
Mean Mail Lady: Are you going to use those stamps to mail this letter?
Nice (BLUSHING) Me: What?! No! (She knows! She knows!)
Mean Mail Lady: I'm not going to give you any stamps if you're going to put them on this letter.
Nice Me: I won't. (I'm busted.)
Mean Mail Lady: I'm sorry, hun. I'm not giving you any stamps.

I was defeated. I hung my head and retreated. In shame. In humilitation. But I couldn't believe she wouldn't sell me stamps! Maybe I was over zealous. Maybe I thought I was smart enough to outsmart the US Postal Service. But nothing can stop the US Postal Service.

Except Sundays and Holidays.


Brett and Tiffany said...

Thanks for another great laugh! You make my day! You should have went and bought stamps somewhere else and mailed it anyway! Whoops, that is not in the Christmas spirit, is it! Haha!

johnandjana said...

Get a padded envelope and mail the flippin Skittles. I would have told that lady to go get a new job. I have mailed things like that many times, even to Japan. What a dork the mean lady is!!!

Karlenn said...

Oh my GOSH. I cannot believe that! Yeah, there are a lot of crabby postal worker people. I know what you mean about hoping to avoid the really mean ones. I would have gone to the UPS store. What a butthead that lady was! She can't NOT sell you stamps! Holy crap!!