Saturday, May 28, 2011

Face on a Milk Carton

I've worn glasses since third grade.  I got this really old-lady trendy pair.  They were big and round and plastic.  They had a light blue and lavender water-colory mosaic thing going on.  Really brought out.... the fact that I had bad eyes.  Me and my dad went to LensCrafters and they gave me my eye exam and I was so excited to see!  So in the exam room the doctor gave me a pair not for looks just to make sure it was the right prescription.  Then I went to pick out my frames.  I kept trying them on and thought something was wrong. I kept asking for them to bring me different glasses.  More and more and more. We were there for a long time and dad finally asked what was wrong with all these glasses.  "I can't see out of any of them!"  I had NO idea that the frames were just frames with fake glass.  Yeah.  Then I felt sheepish and maybe that's why I picked the granny frames I picked.  I also was really excited to wear them to school and show my teacher Ms. Sable.  And you know what?  She wasn't there that day!  A substitute was there.  I was completely deflated.  And when Ms.  Sable did finally get back to school she didn't even notice the first day. I was so upset.  I wrote in my journal about it.  I should try to find that.
Man, it would be hard to teach elementary.  When your student depend on you so much for validation.  Whoa. 
ANYWAY-Some time in the last 20 years glasses became really cool.  People who don't even need glasses wear them as an accessory.  I'm happy about this because the optical industry finally caught on that there are people under the age of 75 who need glasses and who don't want the same set as their grandma.
Last spring I got new glasses. (Not the first time since third grade by the way.) They were called "Red Coin."  I loved that name.  They were square and small and red with a silver stripe on the sides.  Not punk red.  Not too attention grabbing but very mature metallic red. (Normally I don't think mature and metallic can go in the same sentence... but here it works.) They were up-town. Like those stilettos that are black with a red sole you can only see when she is walking.  Yeah.  Like that.  You think she's business- but...wait... yeah, she's hot.  They were dignified with a little danger.  You know I was trying to send the statement that I quietly live on the edge. 
To the story.
I forgot my glasses in Salt Lake.  I guess I was so busy pretending to be a world traveler I forgot to give the hotel room the once over.  I left my whole makeup bag.  It had my glasses, contact case, and all my makeup and my Extra Strength Excedrin.  I love that Excedrin.  It's not an addiction- it's the only thing that can stave off the Koley pains I get.  That's replaceable.  Makeup is replaceable too- but it's gonna cost like $50.   I have enough practice with makeup that I can wear it without looking like I am wearing it.  But- I still NEED to wear it or I think I look like a troll.  If it was mid summer and I was all tanned up.  This would be no big deal.  You don't need makeup when you are sun kissed.  I look so... tired.  And pale.  And like I should put some makeup on!  I called the hotel.  And asked if a "cosmetic bag" was left in room 518.  (Slipped right back into mysterious traveler mode there.)  They were going to check and call me back.
Ken goes down every week so in my head I was thinking- I'll have everything back on Tuesday.  I can get through this weekend.  But, um, no.  If they DO have my bag- Ken will pick it up on Tuesday.  I will get it on Friday. 
And I really hope they have it because I don't think I'll be able to convince Ken to buy me another pair of designer glasses that our insurance doesn't cover.  I played the tumor card once- I don't think it will work again.
I'll have to introduce myself to the $20 and Under Glasses wall at Walmart.


The Thumber said...

Funny you should mention glasses today. I started wearing them in 7th grade (ouch, the horros of getting spectacles as a tween). I wear contacts every day now, except when I go to bed and read/write. However, I forgot mine on our trip this weekend and I was seriously thinking of trying to find a LensCrafters because I can't see anything at night when I take my contacts out. Frustrating!

Julia said... They give away 10000 pairs of free glasses pretty much once a month. You just have to have a valid prescription ready and be on the ball. Sooo, if by chance you just WANT a new pair or don't get yours back (or if someone else reads this and they want a new pair). Just go to the link I posted. I think it's $14.95 for shipping, but it is a SWEET deal.

I wish you would have posted the school pic!

Kar said...

Dude, I'm totally going to go to that website, Julie! My glasses are a pair I got through MediCal (California's version of MedicAid - they're too cool to call it MedicAid like the rest of the nation calls it), and because they only pay for the bare minimum, and they won't pay for thinner lenses, my glasses weigh like 20 pounds.