Monday, May 16, 2011

Let It Go

I have an incredibly ambitious, honest, loving, husband who does things that drive me nutso.  I think we all have a man like this in our life.  Kenner is stupendous and can be stupendously OCD. 

SIDENOTE: Sometimes I think people use OCD as a code that really means obnoxious and annoying.  Like "I'm OCD about that."  No- you're just a pain in the arse about that. 

This weekend Kenny-Bear was loading the dishwasher (depositing into the emotional bank account.  Bravo, husband, bravo.)  When Ken loads the dishwasher he likes to examine what I already put in.  I had put in a plate that I made Tiffany Nachos on.  Did I rinse the plate?  No.  Do I ever rinse the plates?  No.  Ken put on his dad hat and tie and laid this little sermon on me.
"Honey.  You really have to rinse these dishes.  We don't want all that gunk clogging up the dishwasher, do we?  Come on.  I've told you about this over and over.  Just rinse them.  It's not hard and then I don't have to keep reminding you."

Um... yeah.  My skin was crawling.  My jaw clenched.  And in my head I yelled, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I waited like 30 seconds.  Cool off, Patty, cool off. Ken was just staring at me with his eyebrows up-you know, waiting for a response-  which makes me even more mad.  Then, I had an epiphany. 

"Let it Go."

So, I did. 
The fact is that we all live with people who do things that bother us.  I don't rinse the dishes.  And I walk through the house with my shoes on.  And I go to the bathroom twice before I go to bed.  Ken HATES these little quirks.
And he does things that drive me nuts.  He'll cook something in the microwave for like a minute 45.  Then when there's 12 seconds left he just opens the door and takes his food out.  He doesn't clear the 12 seconds off!  So, when I look at the microwave to see what time it is- I just see a blinking 12.  AAAAAA-nnoying. 
Yeah-talk about little things right?  Little itty bitty teeny weeny minuscule things that bugs the white right off my skin.
I didn't learn to rinse the dishes from my lecture... sorry Kenmo... you're going to have to give me another talking to.... I learned that:  The people we live with do things that bother us... whether it be
  • not clearing the microwave
  • not rinsing off dishes
  • always getting the mail first
  • keeping shoes on
  • leaving clothes in the washer
  • dumping their fur from their electric razor in the nice clean sink
  • leaving hair clots in the tub drain
  • tucking socks under the couch
  • never replacing the toilet paper (leaving one stranded)
But every time these diminutive habits flare up just Let It Go.  It's not that hard to push "clear" on the microwave.  And the dishwasher will most likely wash that cheese off.  What's more important?  To let the person you share your life with know that they do things that makes your blood curdle OR to let them know that they are loved and irreplaceable and you think they are perfect just the way they are.  With or without that GD microwave blinking a 12.


Karlene said...

I love this Patty! I am trying and it is great to hear that others have my same problems! I will let it go!

Karlenn said...

This is so true. I find myself getting so pissed about lots of things Ben does, and I have to keep reminding myself that he puts up with all of my crap, so I have to put up with his.

Poulsen Family said...

I try so hard to let the little things go but unfortunately I let them fester until so many have built up to bug me that I blow. My attempt at letting go just backfires on me.
This is an area I need A LOT of work on!
If you have ideas on how to approach the people (ie- extended family, friends) who sometimes drive us mad I would love to hear your thoughts.

DoublClik said...

I liked this post. I needed it. I'm reading a book I bought at the airport called "Being your spouse's better half" and I'm on a being a better wife high! This was good.

Ginger Bradley said...

Bravo, Patty cakes!

Brett and Tiffany said...

Loved this post! Loved that you made nachos! You should come up again so we can make them again & hang out!

Cinderella, the A-Train and Our Little Caboose said...

I think everyone can relate to this! I was given some advice before I got married to not dwell on the little things. It really makes a huge difference AND I appreciate that Andy doesn't point out all of the things that I do that annoy him! I am sure the list would be rather long! haha