Friday, January 27, 2012

HUMILIATION with friends

Since I got my iPod Touch (and grew out of my Angry Birds phase) I've been all about the "Words With Friends."  I don't know why they don't just call it Scrabble.  That is what it is after all.  I play around the clock.  It keeps track of when you play and posts so when your friend comes on it'll read "Patty played EXECUTES 6 hours ago."  I was embarrassed at first because every time I got on it would say "Rachel played GUITAR 6 seconds ago" or "Wendy played COINS 3 minutes ago."  Maybe some people wait it out a little to "be cool."  But we know I lost those cool vibes decades ago.  I've resolved within myself that I am punctual and reliable and I post my word immediately.  Even if I have to wait 8-12 hours for them to post a word back.  Dorkus Schmorkus. Hey.  Don't call me names, man.
Anyway- Ken suggested I break out of the Words with Friends game a little.  I never like to change a good thing- but I do like to please my Kenner.  So, I downloaded CHESS with Friends! 
Totally Different!
Way out of the box!

Not really.  Plus, apparently there aren't that many of my friends interested in playing Chess.  4 were listed and none of them had played in the last 6 months.  So, after much consulting with myself, I decided to have the world wide web chose an opponent for me.  This was daunting.  I'm an above average chess player (Toot!  Toot!  <---- That's my own horn blowing.) but I'm not competition worthy.  And, summoning an unknown opponent felt a little like entering a competition.  I was assigned a player and in my head I pictured them as a 4th grader who was just learning how to play.  I grew confident that over the course of the game I'd be able to teach my little pupil something.  Some fast moves.  A couple tricky maneuvers.  Something he could brag to his friends about in between rounds of Pokemon Battles.

The game began.

Move One:
I advanced a pawn.
As did my opponent.
Move Two:
I advanced another pawn.
He brought out his Queen.
Over zealous move. I scoffed.
Move Three:
I moved my third pawn.
He moved his bishop and a blue pop up window read "Check Mate!  You Lose!"

Jaw drop.
Three moves.  I was checkmated.  I was dead meat.  I was lifeless on the doorstep.

What the heck?  Why did they put me up against the greatest chess player in the world?  Didn't they know this was my first time trying this?  How about a confidence boost?
If I wasn't so impressed I would have been seriously upset.

It was really embarrassing.  My opponent probably sat in his living room with his huge brain (and multiple cats) watching Vampire Diaries casually ruining my self-esteem in 3 moves.  My head was hanging pretty low.  Ultimate embarrassment.  I couldn't even tell Ken for a day or two.

To wrap this up, I haven't been able to start another round of Chess.  I'm too nervous I'll get pitted against another genius.
But I am trying to get signatures on my petition to switch the name from "Chess with Friends" to "Humiliation with Friends."  It seems more suitable.


Emily Empey said...

haha! no chess for me! i stink! But i love words, Scramble, and Hanging with friends!!

SkippyMom said...

That is a common move - it has a name [that I can't remember right now] but if you google it you will know how to protect yourself from it. [google - three moves to checkmate or something like that. :)]

Don't feel bad, really. If I had a phone with apps I would happily play a game with you.

DoublClik said...

I am LOVING our Words with Friends game!! And I thoroughly enjoy getting to it when I have time. And its still there! I have a game going on right now with Uncle Judd (gulp) and Sophia too!