Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Operation: Shutty Uppy

Sometimes I seriously want to bite some peoples head off.
In the last (let's round up and say) 10 days, people (neighbors, friends, strangers, haters) have made the following comments to my face regarding my son.
  1. "Why does he wake up in the middle of the night still?"
  2. "You can give him just a little candy, it won't hurt."
  3. "His hair is really long.  Have you ever thought about cutting it?"
  4. "It's really okay to leave him with a sitter, nothing will happen."
  5. "Do you spend all you time with him?"

Now, I possess tact.  So I take these slightly condescending remarks and questions in tow.  And I cover for you.  I make you feel comfortable and at ease and not like the completely disrespectful, nebby nosed, nincompoop you are.  So, fear not ding bats- I will continue to take your insults to my motherhood in stride.
But just know that on the inside I am an inferno and my real answers to your questions are interlaced with swear words.

What I say out loud:
  1. *Shrugs* Could be a growth spurt.
  2. Thanks, but I'd rather not. *smiles*tilts head*
  3. Isn't it?  And it's so silky! *strokes Kole's hair*
  4. We're discussing options for a sitter.  *Nods incessantly* We are looking for really specific qualities.
  5. I do. Yup.  It's my job.

What I say inside:
  1. Really?  You're asking me why?  I'm 27 and I still wake up in the middle of the night!  It's human nature.  It happens.  I can't explain everything about babies.  Why are bushes bushy?  Why are leaves leafy?  I mean we could be here all night!  And then nobody would get any sleep.  Would you like that, hmmmmmmm?
  2. I'm not raising a diabetic.  So don't offer it, k?  And especially quit giving it him when you think I'm not looking.  I SEE you!  And I throw it away.
  3. Mind your own damn business.  If I want Koley to be a free-wheeling, loose talking, hippie with hair down to his ankles... I can raise him that way.  You get to keep your mouth shut from now on.  And it wouldn't hurt to keep the eye rolls and disapproving looks to yourself.
  4. I normally just imagine hitting the person I am talking to over the head with a hot cast iron frying pan. Boiiiiiiiing!  And they fall straight backwards.  Like a cartoon.
  5. Uh.  Yeah!  He's my kid.  I'm his mom.  We go together.  And every day I still manage to shower.  I read.  I catch up with my friends.  I maintain a household.  I do laundry and scrub bathrooms.  I take a walk.  I work part-time.  I function as a successful adult... and surprise (!) I can do it with an 18-month-old son.  I don't think that merits any applause. 
For an excellent (and hilarious) post, written by Ru, on women who complain about how hard it is to be a grown-up read HERE.


vicks27 said...

Tell 'em, Patty!

Julianna said...

I had the choice of weather or not to medicate my sons for their various issues. (Both have severe ADHD and Youngest has Autism Spectrum.)

So on the one hand I get parents, teachers, etc. saying why don't you medicate them. On the other I get "I can't believe you want them to just pop a pill".

Seriously? It's my (and their) flippin' choice. It's what work for us as a family now. It may not work forever, but it works for now.

And then you should have seen the eye rolls when I went Gluten free for Youngest INSTEAD of medication. Even had to get a court order to get his father to adhere to it. *sigh*

SkippyMom said...

Here ::hands over a cookie:: Have a cookie. You can have cookies, right? heehee

Don't let them annoy you, it simply isn't worth it. There are far more opinionated people [read: women] in this world that insist on sharing their experiences than there are, well...cookies.

I did have to laugh at the people that said Kole's hair was long. giggle - They think he needs a haircut? Oh lordy. If it was legal to smack a person....

Poulsen Family said...

First off, I really like your new background. It's fresh and enlightening.

Second, in reference to the blog you linked, I have to somewhat disagree with her writing. Each era of life motherhood has had it's challenges. She only referenced to temporal challenges and left out the REAL obligation of motherhood, to rear your children for good. I think more than ever motherhood has the challenge of creating an environment that's moral. That's a HARD task if you ask me, doesn't matter how many hours you have in the day. Now with that in mind, if motherhood is so "exhausting" why do people find the time to criticize other mothers such as yourself?!

Kar said...

Are you KIDDING me? Sheesh. I can't believe people say these things out loud. Dude, Kole's hair is seriously not that long. What are they talking about? And even if it was to his waist, who cares??? And you work part time??? Where have I been?? And good for you for not giving Kole candy. Seriously.