Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Trouble in Paradise.

Monday night we were outside grilling.  Rephrase: Ken was grilling spicy salmon and asparagus, I was holding Joey and looking for animals with Kole.  We got lucky and saw a fox, a mouse, 4 deer, and... wait for it, WAIT FOR IT....!
A snake.

Yup!  Old Mr. snake is back from last year.  But a little longer a little plumper.  Maybe it's a different snake all together.  Who knows.  I spent the winter talking to myself and pumping myself up for all the critters that live in my yard.  I resolved to be brave and use them to enhance Kole's life as a boy who loves disgusting stinky slimy things.  So the snake was pure gold.  For me and Kole.  And heck, I'll throw Joey in that mix.  Ken, on the other hand, abhorred having that snake crawl around the patio.  He kept claiming the snake was hissing at him.  Bear in mind, the snake is a garter snake.  Maybe maybe 12 inches long and about the thickness of a Slurpee straw.  So hissing?  Probably not.
As Ken did his best to avoid the snake (taking huge steps over it, hopping to skip steps, walking around the entire house to avoid using the back door) Kole and I watched as the snake-y slithered around and found it's way around the patio. 
He slid through some bushes and then turned and slid right close to the house.  Stopping occasionally to stick his tongue out and enjoy the fresh air.  Kole and I were fascinated.  (Joey was watching birds.)  The snake slid along the back porch steps, turned to look at us, and then pa-loop went right into a hole in the cement on our house!
That's right.

Then the snake that belongs outside in nature slid into a hole than I am sure leads to my house.
Then I was all Satan get thee hence.

Because I'm pretty sure the crawl space under my house looks like this now:

 Possibly even with Indiana Jones down there.  Unless he got eaten by Nagini (who, yeah, lives in the snake pit under my house.)

Poor Indy.  Stuck under my house with ten thousand snakes.  I gotta tell you.  It's a little hard to sleep knowing they're under there.  Slithering.  Hissing.  And plotting to overtake the castle.  Probably figuring out a way to come up through the vents or drains.


Juli said...

OK. Ew.

Honestly, the snakes around here don't bother me much. Tony treats them all to the "special shovel" as soon as he sees them. One day though, there was a three footer in the neighbor's drive way, hissing (no lie) and perched to pounce at the neighbor's cat (who was also hissing) Her son, about 16 at the time, came out... thought it was AWESOME, got a Walmart bag full of something, and dangled it in front of the snake.... which of course struck at it several times. LEaving several puncture wounds (in the bag... not him)


I had my fingers on the 9 1 1 just in case.

OH... on the snake eventually slithered into the retaining wall between our properties... so I'm sure this spring when we replace the windows along that wall... we'll find him.

Kar said...

Oh jeez. Call a pest control service! What if snakey is a girl??

Beth Willmore said...

Oh my gosh I hate snakes!! That's disgusting that it's under your house. You should just probably bulldoze your house and then burn the pile just to be safe...

Also - thanks for the nasty snake pictures on your blog, I will have nightmares for weeks now and you will get a bill from my therapist!

Janie Junebug said...

You never know where he might turn up. Get ready for bed, and he could be under the covers. Something that's cute and interesting outdoors is not so cute in the house. Call the exterminator! I do not like snakes, but I love your blog. I'm so glad Juli sent me here. I hope you'll visit me at Juli and I go way back. She saved me from being stuck at 13 followers. When she started following me, all of a sudden, other people showed up. Good things happen with Juli.

Janie Junebug