Conversations (Part 1 of 3)

Whenever I relay an interesting encounter with Ken regarding perhaps a quarrel with someone I don't know or have never met, he reminds me that I bring out the best in people. 

Part One
"TextBook BuyBack"
or
"That's Illegal"

I love eating at The Outback.  It's those wings.  And their salads.  Something in their Ranch is sensational.  I order the same thing everytime I go.  (Bloomin' Onion, Salad with Rand sans Maters, and Tassie Buffalo Wings)  Ken told me that if I went to ISU and tried to sell back our old textbooks he would take me to dinner at The Outback.  All I had to do is try.  I didn't have to actually make any money.  I didn't think we'd really get anything because I had exhausted the textbook buying circuit.  Amazon took a bunch, Chegg took some, Book City in town bought a few others.  I was left with the duds.  But The Outback can make me do incredible things.  I packed up the baby and book-duds and headed over to ISU.  I could tell as soon I we got there things weren't going to go that well.

Let's dialogue it out.
P = Patty Poulsen from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
MG = Mean Girl who works at the university bookstore.

(Me and Kole enter the bookstore.  We are one foot in.)
MG: Miss!  Miss!  You have to leave your belongings on the shelf.
(I look around.  There is a lady at the register glaring at me.  She has a customer.)
P:  Did that lady talk to me?  Do I have suspicious belongings?  No.  It must have been something else. (Me and Kole continue in)
MG:  Excuse me!  I said your belongings go on that shelf!
P: Is she talking about Kole?  In his stroller?  Does she want me to leave his stroller by the shelf?  Does she realize there is a child in it?  Oh.  I didn't realize you were talking to me.  I only have this stroller and my son is in it so... we're just going to stick together.
MG:  Okay, your son does not have the conscious ability to know where he is or if he is "sticking" with you.  So I don't think you should use the term "we."  Second, this isn't exactly public access.  If you want to take a walk you should take him to the park.
P: (floored) Does she realize it is snowing outside?  Does she really think I chose to get exercise in a cramped university bookstore?  I am here to sell some books back.
MG:  I'm working overtime right now and it's not the greatest time to be selling books back.
P: (confused.)  Is it not the greatest time because she is working overtime?  I don't get that correlation. I feel bad for the kid who she is supposed to be waiting on.  I just had these laying around and I don't really care what I get for them.
MG:  Well the semester started a week ago and we already bought back what we want and ordered what we needed so I don't think you'll get anymore than 30% of what they're worth.  Plus, we rent books now.
P:  You know a lot about your job.
MG:  I am working overtime.
P:  So you have said.  I'll just wait my turn in line and then we'll talk.
MG:  You're wasting your time.

NEW CHARACTER ALERT
IB = Innocent Bystander = Kid who was waiting at the register listening to all this.

IB:  What are you selling?
P: (reaching down into the stroller basket) I have....
MG:  She doesn't have what you need.
IB:  I was just asking her.
MG:  That's illegal.
P:  No it's not.
MG:  Yeah, it's illegal to buy textbooks from other students.
IB:  Why?
MG:  She won't have what you need.
P:  Wow.  Are we competing for a prom date here?  Let the kid ask! Let me show him for crying out loud.  I have these.
IB: (looks through) Oh.  Nope.  Not what I was looking for.
MG:  I TOLD you!  Ha!
P:  Yup.  You were right.  I hope you can keep this near sale of books from one student to another under your hat. 
(IB leaves.  MG is fuming)
MG:  Well?  Do you have your Student ID?
P:  Yes, but I don't go to school here anymore.
MG:  You dropped out.

SIDENOTE:  I hate the term "dropped out."  I hate it even more when it's referring to me because I have every intention of finishing school.  I hate it the most when someone is calling me a drop out and they don't know me.  They only know they don't like me.  (Probably because I am so pretty.)

P:  I got my Masters in '09.  (It slipped out!)  These are from my husband's schooling.  I have all of these.  (sets books on counter)  I know they are out dated so whatever you can offer.
MG:  (begins surveying books)  Old! (slams on counter)  Old!  (slams on counter)  This is over 2 years old! (slams on counter.  pauses.  holds up a book.)  Do you see what this says?
P:  Um... Organizational Business Statistics?
MG:  What edition?
P:  I'm not sure.
MG:  This is an International Edition.  Do you know it's illegal to be in possession on this book?
P:  No.  I bought it on Amazon.
MG:  You broke the law.  Americans have different statistical systems than the rest of the world and they don't want us knowing what it is.
P:  Well, I bet we all find standard deviation the same way. (smiles...coyly)
MG:  Like I said.  That's illegal. (continues going through books.  pauses.  holds up another book.)  What book is this?
P:  REALLY?  Again?!  Just go through the stack and tell me if you can buy any!  That's a math book.  College Algebra it looks like.
MG:  Do you notice anything out of the ordinary about it?
P:  No.
MG:  It's a Teacher's Edition and that's illegal for you to have in your possession.  Did you steal it?
P:  No.  I bought it on Amazon.  But it really came in handy in class.  Especially when I was taking my tests.  I just laid it open right on my desk.  The teacher didn't care.  Since my book said Teacher's Edition he figured I was one of his peers.  Not a student.  He gave me an A.  I wish I could have gotten my hands on one of these for each of my classes.  It would have made getting my Masters so easy!
MG:  We don't want your books.
P:  You haven't even finished looking at them.
MG:  I don't want to finish.  I don't think there will be anything this University is looking for.
P:  You mean there won't be anything YOU'RE looking for!  You don't like me because I am not taking your accusations seriously.
MG:  Thank you for coming in.

I gathered my books.  Pushed the stroller over to the front door and dumped my books in the garbage.  Which I am sure was illegal.