Thursday, April 5, 2012

"E" Is For Everything As It Should Be

Uh... except for it's not.
...for anyone really.
And I get so angry reading these blogs where life is portrayed that way.
You know the ones:
The housewife is slim (from stupid old Zumba classes) and has a great butt and a perfect complexion (made so by layers of makeup.... or Photoshop).  Wears either skinny jeans or dresses every day.  Even just GETS dressed every day.  She takes pictures of herself and three kids on the web cam.  She makes up her own recipes and eats all organic and sets a fancy table every night.  With, like... name tags made on her Cricut machine.  They have parties for no reason and are moving into an even bigger house.  Nothing costs too much money with the killer job her "hubby" has and even trials "aren't that bad" or she considers them "a gift from God."  (Oh.  And she uses words like "killer," "awesome," "radical," and "angels."  I just don't like those words.)  She probably wears those patterned rained goulashes to the play ground on Spring days in case there is mud.  And takes lots of pictures of her feet/shoes.

You know the blogs that make you throw up a little in your mouth?
I gag because there is no way that's all true.

One of my best friends told me, "Everyone smiles in pictures."
Which is true.  We all put our best face on when we hear the word "Cheese." 
But... when do these women get relief?  When do they face reality?  Or is life a game to them?

I've got my uppers and my downers for days. 
I find liberation and reinforcement when I share what is really going on. 
When I say "This blows"  I inevitably feel better.  Maybe it's the whole taking ownership.
It doesn't make me weak.
It doesn't make me less or more likable.
And it doesn't make me better than those woman who write blogs that I hate.  (Point of Interest:  I don't hate those women... I just can't read their blogs.  It's not personal... it's blog-onal.)

I will give myself points for being more honest than them though. *wink*

It's not a competition.  Life is never going to be a competition. 
Which is good. 
Because the score would be something like:
FEMBOTS: 4,899,673,456,165,098


Spencer, Jen, and Zoe said...

I love your blog. So often you say the same things that I'm thinking but I'm a super lazy blogger so. . . I'm glad someone is putting this stuff out in the blog universe. Haha

Anonymous said...

Haha, SO TURE!!:)

Anonymous said...

Ummm that was supposed to say true! Apparently I can't spell.

Kate said...

I like your post, and its true!

Christi said...

Were truer words ever spoken? I think not!

Christi ツ
Beach Dreams and Love Always

SkippyMom said...

I think blog-anol is my new favorite word. And don't kid yourself - life & our blogs may not be a competition to us, but to those women it is a blood sport. Thank goodness they have others that are just like them and they can try to out-bedazzle their fellow cult members.

My favorites are the ones who make themselves & the kids into cartoon avatars [to look like themselves] & they are all blond, with perfect smiles and play boy bunny bodiees. The only thing missing is the glass of wine & the of xanax. ;)

Kar said...

Pats, you are soooooooooooo good at articulating your thoughts. I really suck at that. As we've discussed before. :) Haha! Anywho, I adored (and actually read it once or twice again in my head) what you said about the expression of things as they really are, even if they suck - that you find liberation and reinforcement in expressing these things. This is what I should wear on a sign around my neck, because often, when I'm expressing my feelings about sucky things, I get labeled as a whiner.

Kate OMM said...

But fembots don't think!
Kate ~ Visiting A to Z:

Kate OMM said...

But fembots don't think!
Kate ~ Visiting A to Z:

Juli said...

Oh, Patty. I hope you never feel that way when you visit me.

Because if you do, I want you to know I froze my ass off on Monday in shorts because my jeans were even too dirty to be worn for the second *cough* fifth day in a row, and that the rest of the week sucked donkey dingle.

But I have tomorrow off, and I washed some jeans, so it has to get better, right?

Colleen Chen said...

Refreshing honesty. Thank you for that!

DoublClik said...

I hope im the best friend youre talking about because that is my phrase. I love your blogonal word and yes this same reason has made me stopped folwing others. I have a sensitive gag reflex what can i say

Patty said...

@Spencer, Jen, and Zoe--- why haven't you ever posted anything on your blog? HMMMMM???

@Megan- We're on the same page.

@Kate- Thanks for your support. I went over to your blog too!

@Christi- How do you get that crooked smile by your name? I like that!

@SkippyMom- I was tempted to go off on the cartoon people- but I feel like at least they KNOW they are making it up. And I'm on your blog evrey day... even when I'm not commenting. :)

@Kar- More People Like Kar!

@Kate OMM- Well they sure do score a lot of points! Who is judging this event? I think we need a penalty flag up in 'ere.

@Juli- I wouldn't follow, read, and comment on your blog if I thought of you this way. And I've been wearing the same (maternity) jeans since Monday. I figure I might as well finish off the week.

@Colleen- No ma dear... thank YOU!

@Andi Candy Girl- I didn't know that was your phrase!? Tori used to say that too. But you are one of my very best friends.

Lynn Proctor said...

very well said and true!

Spencer, Jen, and Zoe said...

I am horrible at posting on our blog. It is ornate but I would be happy to send you an invite if you want. . . But be prepared to be disappointed by the lack of new posts haha What's your email address?

Patty said...