Friday, July 8, 2011

Wish I Was Raving- but I'm Ranting.

I had a house showing today.  My house has been on the market for almost a year.  It has showed at least 50 times.  That is not a joke.  I have scrubbed this place top to bottom fifty freakin' times.  With a baby, that's not easy.  Yesterday my perky realtor called and asked if she could show it today. 
"Sure!"
I always get my hopes up.  So from yesterday at about 3 to this morning at about 9 it was scrub, scrub, scrub.  (I also tended to Koley and slept for 7 hours.)  The place "pinged" when you looked at it.  We left for an hour so the people could look at it.
Janny called at about 3 today.  "They loved you house!  They really, really love it.  Especially the wife."

I am waiting to hear And they have put together an offer!  Would you like to come in so we can discuss it?

Janny continues, "They just want to mull it over.  You know him haw around a bit.  Sit on it for a couple days.  Think it all over."

Do they teach them these euphemisms in Realtor School?  I took it as a no-go. I asked her when she would get in touch with them again.  I wondered if their him hawing would be a day or two or a month or two.  She said she would give them until next Monday or Tuesday and then call.  And then she says this:
"You know, Patty?  Just one little tip that I think would really help your house to sell..."

I'm all ears Janny.

"The baseboards at the bottom of your basement stairs look like they could use a good scrubbing.  Or a new paint job.  I think that would really help things out."

I swallowed.  And held my tongue.  And quickly said my goodbyes.  I didn't know if I wanted to cry because the entire house is sparkling except for some downstairs baseboards or laugh because Janet thinks if only those baseboards were clean this house would just FLY off the market!
I chose to laugh.  Damn you baseboards.  If only you had been clean this whole time!  A buyer would have offered full price for my house!  But you!  You have ruined everything, dirty baseboards.

5 comments:

Julia said...

The house we bought was FILTHY. It was completely outdated and on the market for over a year and we feel so so so so so blessed that it is ours to care for and call home. We looked for 9 months at over 90 houses and this was the one, dirty baseboards, almond-color appliances and all. Someone is looking for your house and when they find it, they will love it like you do.

SkippyMom said...

If your house has been on the market for a year without selling you need two things - a new agent and a lower price.

I know the market it harsh for sellers and I do feel for you but if Janny thinks the baseboards are the problem then she is a fool, especially when you house is pristine condition. [Serioiusly? The only thing she mentioned were baseboards in the basement? BAH]

Again, I know the market is extreme right now but houses are selling and for her to nit pick something so stupid amazes me. If they "loved it" the baseboards wouldn't be a consideration. She is making crap up for her failure as a realtor.

Good luck my friend. I hope you house sells soon.

Ru said...

When I was looking at houses - and I looked at many - I never once noticed something like baseboards. (And seriously, aren't you going to end up cleaning and repainting everything anyway once you move in?) I ended up buying my house because I loved the location and windows, and could live with the outdated kitchen.

I think these people were massively OCD, or your real estate agent isn't really selling the house like she ought to. Random anecdote time - my cousin had her house on the market for a year, nothing. She switched real estate agents and lowered the price a little bit and a month later the house sold. Sometimes you just have to shake things up a little bit. Good luck friend!

Patty said...

Thanks for all the good realty vibes. We've lowered the price (again)... Janny is on her way out. Bring on the buyers!

megan said...

UGH!! You really need to call my realtor! She's awesome! Her name is Sue Arnold and she works for Remax. She really is great. I'll give you her phone number. I hope your house sells soon!!