Even after you find out you're pregnant and the excitement quickly wanes due to Tilt-A-Whirl sensations of nausea. Even after you successfully avoid the smell of cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, and bananas for 3 months to disengage your gag-reflux. Even after you quit all physical and fun activities you used to do in order to safely carry your child. Even after you toot/fluff/burst for several months and hope someone thinks it's the old person next to you. Even after you sleep sitting up for 3 months. Even after you wear ugly clothes that don't fit you... at all. Even after that stretched out, purply, ugly belly hangs half way to your knees for 2 months. Even after you go through fake contractions that don't feel fake at all. Even after you finally get to the hospital cry and moan and push and cry cry cry. Even after they carve that baby out of your stomach... using a knife. Even after you can't stand up straight for several weeks after the baby. Even after it hurts to go to the bathroom for a couple months. Even after all the swelling "down there" is gone. Even after your scar doesn't burn all day... just when it gets touched (or bumped into). Even after you're not dizzy any more and you get a solid chunk of sleep again at night. Even after you quit crying over little things, and big things, and happy things, and funny things, and every time you look at the baby, and every time you look at the clock, and any time you cry because you've been crying all day and it's dark out now. Even after your chest is no longer engorged and your butt is following the suit of motherhood.
Even after you start to feel like a human being again.
Even after you look in the mirror and with grit and determination say, "I can fix this mess."
Even after you think you've recovered from all pregnancy and labor and newborns throw at you....
You lose your hair.
At like 6 or 7 months after the baby comes.
And it is just so. So. Cruel.
I supposed it is the last.... horrible.... Hoo-rah.
P.S. I haven't forgot about The Bloggies! (Well. Actually, I did. Until Julie reminded me.) Coming this week peeps. Prepare your speeches.