Restless Nights

I looked at my preggie ticker and saw that I am in the single digits. 9 weeks. That can't be right. I just found out I was pregnant like last month. (Not actually true. Just feels that way.)

I'm going to the doc every two weeks to check up on my mancub. The nursery is complete- although it is missing a mattress... and little things.... like clothes, onesies, diapers. I was up in bed last night much too excited (and uncomfortable) to sleep and I had four bajillion-gazillion thoughts going through my head. Is it a first time mommy thing?

• I don't know how to be a mom.


• I know how to babysit.


• Are they similar?


• Is someone going to teach me how to nurse?


• The books are really confusing.


• I could write a book.


• What does this baby-meister look like?


• I hope he has dark hair.


• I hope he has hair.


• I don't think that bald is beautiful.


• A mom would think bald is beautiful.


• I'm going to be a horrible mom.


• Some ice cream would make that feeling go away.


• Ken is sleeping.....


• I think I'll let my kids have late night snacks when their dad is asleep and they are sad.


• I'm going to be a great mom.


• I have to go to the bathroom.


• I'm glad Ken is good at nicknames.


• My dad is really good at nicknames... although sometimes they are a little off kilter.


• How did Julie get the name "Stinkweeder?"


• I've called the un-born child stinkweeder.


• He doesn't smell stinky at all.


• I don't think he can smell either.


• Do you have to be able to breathe to smell.


• *Breathing In* Yeah, I think so.


• Those nachos at Greta's blessing were really good.


• I want a whole big can of that cheese sauce from Sam's.


• Wouldn't it be cool to register at Sam's?


• I just want to hold my own baby.


• I have to go to the bathroom.


• I'm going to let other people hold my baby whenever they want.


• I understand why my mom always made us sit down to hold babies when we were little.


• My mom was literally super mom.


• Ken keeps telling me I'll be a mom like my mom.


• That's encouraging.


• Those tangerines we got were not very tasty.


• I could eat fruit all day.


• Is that a craving?


• I haven't craved a lot during this pregnancy.


• Swimming. That was a craving.


• I want a real fat baby.


• I hope his knees and knuckles and elbows are just dimples.


• That's how Greta is right now.


• Funny. That's cute on babies and GROSS on adults.


• I wonder why Ken is skipping the doctor appointment tomorrow.


• Is it not exciting for him anymore?


• What if we are dead-beat parents?


• What if we're all talk?


• Just decide to do it and do it.


• Be involved.


• Love the kids.


• "Kids." You're only having one!


• We do refer to this baby as "the kids" sometime.


• I don't want to wait a long time in between babies.


• I like close families.


• I have to go to the bathroom.


• It would be scary to be a baby.


• It is scary to be a mom.


• Am I considered a mom already?


• Every single time I think of a mom I think of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.


• Vicky hates it when people say "every single" anything.


• Pet peeves are hilarious.


• Ken and I have been really happy lately.


• I think starting our family has unified us.


• Do people really break up because of the kids?


• That seems strange.


• Does that make me sound naive?


• I love that Kenny Chesney song "Alive and Well."


• That song inspired me to put glow-in-the-dark stars up in the baby's room.


• The stars are more for me than for him right now.


• I have to go to the bathroom.

Restless nights.