Thursday, September 15, 2011

Doesn't Let Up

The pain set in before I took the pregnancy test.  I could hardly stand I was having cramps so bad.  I was leaning against the kitchen sink trying to do dishes and I just clenched onto the counter top.  It hurt.  Pain.  Lots of pain.
The pain didn't ease up during pregnancy.  I didn't have any cramps.  But there was the heart burn, the difficulty breathing, the unfathomable stretching of skin.  (Not just on my belly either... boobs, butt, thighs.)  There was also the inflation of my feet.  They got so big they looked like Hobbit feet and they wouldn't bend.  Walking hurt my feet.  And my back.  And my legs. 
The last month was the worst.  Stairs.  UGH!  I dreaded stairs.  Or having to sit down.  Or stand up.  Or lay down.  Nothing felt good.  Everything was painful.
Or so I thought until I was in labor.  I tried to be wonder woman and deliver Kole without meds.  I only lasted 7 hours.  Pushing a baby out is painful.  Like...nevermind.  Let's not get into it.  It hurts before, during, and after.  For months and months after. 
I decided to nurse Kole.  That's painful for a few days.  Try to imagine a little lost puppy gnawing on your nipple for horus if you've never nursed before.  They don't know what they are doing, you don't know what you are doing and it just hurts. 
When your baby is 6 weeks old you are finally feeling more confident and a little less achy and you have to go for a stupid gynie checkup where they move everything around again and make it all hurt.  By this point my body was pretty well shot.  I didn't even have the energy to wince at pain anymore.
As of this past Monday, I officially quit nursing Kole.  It was beyond time.  He's 14 months old this week.  As in 2 months over a year.  Recently, anytime I would be changing he'd crawl full power over to me begging for "mo, mo, mo, mo." That's his way of saying more.  He'd sit up and point at my chest and bounce all smiley.  Then he started tugging on my shirt... in public.  Yeah.  Definitely time.  So I stopped.
And holy hell it hurts.
I feel like I am carrying two anvils in my shirt.  And they are throbbing.  And hard.  And very very sensitive. I just can't believe my body is still in pain. I can't believe how much the female body goes through to bear a child.  It never ends.  Never lets up.  I think I will be in pain for the rest of my life.  It seems to be the pattern.  If you have kids- you will be in pain.  Eternally.

P.S.  Last night Ken flipped over in bed and pretty much body slammed my left boobie with his elbow.  It woke me up and I screamed it hurt so bad.  Ken says in his sleep (kinda gruff), "Now that's enough of that!"  I sat up (felt fifty pounds hanging from my neck) and looked at him to make sure he was asleep and he had this big grin on is face.  He then said, "Koley, Koley, Koley, Koley.  KOLEY!  Koley."  And started snoring again.


Julia said...

Patty! I just remembered what helped me! Cabbage leaves. Coooollldddd cabbage leaves. Just put one on each sister for about 15 minutes as often as needed. It helped me major!

SkippyMom said...

The nice thing is - it does go away. Soon. Very soon. That's the coolest thing about being a Mom. The pain is only and temporary [in all things birth/nursing] and the reward is AWESOME.

Wow - that was a rough [and quite graphic description] of your pregnancy. Hopefully, if you decide to have another it won't be so difficult.

If you don't have cabbage leaves [excellent suggestion] you can always dampen bra shields, place them in the freezer for a few minutes and use those.

But trust me. Soon.

Unknown said...

Patty Julia is right i have had four kids and cabbage is the best thing for that pain. with my last baby i got mastitis! wow i have never been so sick in my life or been in so much pain! and i got it b/c i was engorged (this was when i was nursing) now that you are not nursing you need to dry the milk up that you are still producing and cabbage will do that! i hope you feel much better soon.
Catrina David

DoublClik said...

Okayyy well this is out of my ball park for sure, (and this post didn't exactly get me gearing up for child birth) but I appreciate your honesty and strength, as always. I love you Pat, sounds like those cabbage leaves is what you should give a try. Can you pump all the excess milk? (I have no clue how this works)