Nursing Nostalgia

It's been one week since I sent Koley to Milk Rehab.  He's fully recovered.  No more pulling on my shirt and face planting into my chest.  He's blossomed into quite the Independent.  He will only eat what he can feed himself and will spit out anything you try to feed him from a spoon.  Then, he'll growl at you while showing his 7 teeth.  He loves sitting in his high chair and eating peanut butter toast.  Although, he realized he could just suck the peanut butter off and not eat the bread part.  That little stink butt peanut butter head.  He's a smart cookie.
Koley's thriving and I really miss having him as a Snuggle Bug.
I don't miss my clothes smelling like rancid milk.  I don't miss having to dash to the car using anything to cover my chest because I forgot to put a nursing pad in.  I don't miss being engorged.  I don't miss being the only one on the planet that can calm him down.  Wait. 
That last ones not true.
I do miss that. 
I don't like it that Koley can go to sleep without me.  Anyone can just swoop in and put him to bed.  And he'll sleep!  For 14 months I was the only one that could do that and in one week he's totally forgotten all about that.  I miss morning sessions when I was too tired to go down and make oatmeal for us.  We'd just lay in bed and snuggle.  And sleep some more.  Then read.  I'd read my Bill Bryson and he'd read his Theodore Geisel.  I miss how he'd curl himself into the teeniest ball to try to get as close to me as possible.  He would sweat when he was nursing.  It could be 15 below out and Kole would sweat.  But after... it was like he was drunk.  He couldn't stand up straight.  Or crawl in a straight line.  He'd talk all slurred.  And everything was funny.  And not just "sorta smile to be polite" funny.  Kole would crack up and hold his belly he'd be laughing so hard. 
My milk was intoxicating to him.
I didn't know it then....
... but having him that close for that long, was quite intoxicating for me too.