Monday, April 2, 2012

"B" is for Barbies

My Barbie, Alan, was the bishop and got to conduct Testimony Meeting if we were allowed to play on Sunday.  I had a black Barbie named Kevin Mosley.  (A lot of our Barbies were name after people in our real lives.)  I bought him because Andi had a black girl Barbie and no one would date her.  (White snobs.)  My Barbies weren't the "cool"  Barbies.  Really, only Vicky and Julie had cool Barbies.  As hard as me and Andi tried- our Barbies were just awkward story fillers.
Maybe that's because I named my girl Barbies, Midge and Pearl.  Pearl played "Happy Birthday" if you lifted her arm.  Midge got her head ripped off and after her "surgery" looked more like a hunchback than a woman.  Very shruggy.  No neck.  Luckily, she was already married to Alan.  Who was mine.   
Sure, there was the off chance that if Tony (Vicky's Barbie) was out of town then Lori (Julie's Barbie) might go out with one of mine or Andi's Barbies.  But it would go no further than one charity date.  And there was never a good night kiss.
We played Barbies in real time.  Stories picked up where they left off.  As Vicky has said, "When Lindsay Bennighoff would come over to play with us and pitch something crazy like, 'Let's have a wedding,' we'd blink at her blankly.  Like, that takes development."

When I get real nostalgic and drift off to Barbie Land it kinda makes me wish I had girls instead of boys.
And then I read this that Andi wrote about her Barbie and realize... It's better this way.

I bought the 1996 Atlanta Summer Olympics Barbie Doll and named her Karen.  Karen had screws at every joint for full acrobatic use.  She was also a redhead with curled bangs.  My risky buy did not pay off.  After all, Karen did not belong to Vicky or Julie, therefore she could not be cool.  In fact, she was more of a handicapped outcast.  Her awkward joints and limbs were always bent the wrong way, and she came in a white body suit with the Olympic rings.  No shoes and no accessories except a gold medal.  I stripped her of all Olympic markings out of sheer embarrassment in the first week or so, but no party dress could get rid of those horrific screws in her ankles, knees, wrists, and shoulders.

12 comments:

Gossip_Grl said...

Loved this post on Barbies. :) Sadly, mine were always party poopers. :) Can't wait to read your April Postings thanks for sharing:)

megan said...

I was never really into Barbies growing up. I had 3 sisters and a brother and I don't really remember them playing much with Barbies. I know we had them, but there were no outcasts or incasts. lol I love the pictures of old memories!:)

Gregg said...

Never had a barbie. But sounds like you had quite an alter-world! Glad you had such a great time with them.

Emily Empey said...

Ohh my heck! I loved playing Barbies! I has the biggest imagination! Mary hasn't really been introduced yet, perhaps that's what I should give her for her birthday in July!? Love this post!

Chris Loves Julia said...

Hahaha. You make me sound so rude and snotty! But please, please know. It wasn't me! Although, Lori did have her moments. *wink*

Patty said...

Jules- it totally wasn't you. And I have no hard feelings. My Barbies weren't cool because I wasn't cool.
Simple as that.

Jemi Fraser said...

Too funny! We spent so many hours with our Barbies! So much fun :)

Juli said...

I wasn't even cool enough to play with Barbies.

I was more of a Cabbage Patch kind of girl.

Holli Fuhriman said...

Barbies probably would have been funner for me if I'd had someone to play with. My sister (9 years older) refused to play with me and I wouldn't let my younger brother who wanted to play babies anywhere near them. I'd always get everything all set up the way I wanted, get bored and put them all away again. You're lucky to be so close in age with your sisters

Kar said...

This post made me so, so, so happy. So funny. I love Vicki's thing - "That takes development." Hi-larious. My friends and I would just make our barbies make out with their Kens. For HOURS. What kind of perverts were we???

Brett and Tiffany said...

We used to play Barbies too...now my girls do! I saw your parents at the temple this last week...did they tell you? We did sealings with them. I told them I think you are the greatest girl ever! Have a great day!

Michelle said...

We were not allowed to have Ken dolls in our ultra conservative home. I was just glad to have two Barbies to my name! My sisters and I would stage elaborate stories (much like the soaps we were watching on the sly) and there was no spur of the moment weddings. After all, we didn't have any Kens. All of our Barbies were widows.