Friday, April 5, 2013

E is for Every Time

Today.  Well recently.  The last 2 years and 9 months it has seemed like every time I have something planned or something I need to do... the kids interfere or find a way to meddle.  Every thing.  Every time.

Say we have to get to church at 9:00 AM.  I purposely set the clock for a half hour before they get up so I can shower and start getting ready before they are up and at 'em.  But, wouldn't you know it, they both wake up early that day.  So it's all the regular frenetics just an extra half hour of it.
Say one of them has a doctor appointment.  We're all set to leave on time, everyone is strapped into their car seat, and.... hmm.  Suddenly it's very smelly.  And Kole is smiling.  I change him in the trunk so we don't have to go back inside and as soon as he's strapped in again- Joey is giggling.  And smelly.  Every time.
Say I get a Redbox and plan for an evening in with a special snack and a horrible romantic comedy (because really the worse those are... the better they seem).  I get dinner and baths done a little early, put them into bed, take a long shower, slip into my Soma jammas, set up the movie, turn off the lights... and as soon as the previews are over... Kole is knocking on his door needing something.  Anything!  Anything he can think of.  Fresh water, another train engine in bed, different pajamas.  After settling him (and myself) down I head back to the movie.  Push play and....Joey is crying.  Every time.
Say I have plans to meet a friend... one of them will be sick.  Every time.
Say I finished cleaning the kitchen... there will be an unexpected spill/sticky mess/mud exhibit.  Every time.
Say I am making an important phone call... someone will get hurt and scream.  Every time.
Say I get dressed and do my hair and get everyone's shoes on to go to the store... Joey will puke on me.  Right on my head.  Gross and smelly and warm in my hair.  Every time.
Say I want to go to the bathroom... there will be little attendees in there with questions and questions and questions.  Every time.
Say I buy a Coke... it gets spilled... or shaken.  And then spilled.   Every time. 
Say I want to _________.  The kids will  interfere, spoil, or wreck.

I know they're cute.
But you can save all your "You're gonna miss this" and "they are blessings" and "have patience" comments today.  I'm mopey and frustrated and deprived of personal time.  I'd rather just have a commiseration party. 

Last year's A to Z: E is for Everything As It Should Be.  I was apparently also in a grouchy mood this day one year ago.  Yoiks.


Kar said...

Oh, dude, this is the story of my life. And you know, if I ever slightly complain about it, my father-in-law gets on his soapbox and says rude things on my facebook page. Like, "You got a teaching degree. You should be able to control your children." I'm thinking of seriously blocking him. Grrrr. So no, you won't get any "someday you'll miss this" nonsense from me. I totally get what you're going through.

Beth Willmore said...

Amen. Luckily my mom says, "You know what - I was just like you, and I DON'T miss the little kid stage." She says that life was so much better when we got to be teenagers (even though we were little shits for sure) because you can talk to teenagers and reason with them (sometimes) and they don't puke on your head in the store...

So that's what I tell myself, no I probably won't miss this stage of never having a second to myself, it just gets better and better from here!

Juli said...


It gets worse. Well, not worse, but different worse. One will have a good day at school, the other will be bordering on expulsion for some random act for which he has no explanation for... every time. One will make honor roll, the other will *cough* not... every time. One will put himself to bed, the other will be caught playing mine craft on his laptop at 11pm... every time.

I'd like to say it doesn't happen, but at the end of the day I have really good kids... and yet it still happens... every time. And now I'm off to buy new fish for my niece and deliver them a day before her birthday because as it happens we have 3 important birthday parties that we can't miss that fell all on Saturday... like it does every time. :)

Juli said...

OH... and if it makes you feel any better, I don't miss my kids "little days" I was a single Mom with two un diagnosed ASD kids, both with ADHD... they ran me ragged and every time they had ANY issue I was dragged into court, into school, or to the doctors and somehow I was the blame of it all.

So yeah... don't miss that at all. Give me a niece/nephew baby any day... all the fun, none of the work. :)

Linda said...

Everyone deserves a pity party that is short and sweet and all hers.