Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Other Patty

Since the Rusty/Rachel incident I have been craving a fight. Another chance to smack down. But this time, bigger and badder than before. How awful, right? I blame it on the "Other Patty." Which is what I have come to call her. (or me- when I am not really myself) For instance, Rachel brought us over a loaf of Chocolate Chip Pumpkin bread from Great Harvest to apologize and fix the bridge she friggin tore apart. Ken was home and accepted it and said thanks and was all sweet about it. When I got home he showed it to me and was all smiles and I said in this dark voice, "Throw it away-she probably poisoned it." WHAT?!!? Where did that come from? I love bread! Carbs. Carbs. Carbs. Here is my neighbor trying to be sweet and apologize and I am swearing at her silently in my head and visualizing eggs splattering on her front door. "Other Patty" be good!
Last night Ken and I were at Walmart. I had to get the oil changed in my car. So we're there and the guy takes all our information and then says it's going to be 40 minutes. "40 minutes?!" Uh-oh.... I feel "Other Patty" coming up. "Other Patty" looks around and sees that there are no other cars there, there are mechanics everywhere smoking their cigs. "What's going to take so long?" Ken grabs my hand.... he must sense "Other Patty" too. The mechanic, Barry says we have another car in there and there are only 2 mechanics working. I take in a breath and am ready to go off on the facts that I bet there is more than one lift in there and maybe if he cracked the whip a little and got those 3 mechanics to do something traffic could get moving a little quicker.... but Ken. Bless his heart. Says, "See you then" to Barry and we go into Walmart. Now. Normally if you have to run into Walmart for one thing you're in there for an hour and don't even know. But last night- GOSH! We were there for an hour and 20 minutes waiting for my dumb car and couldn't think of things we wanted to look at. "Other Patty" doesn't like being bored. She went back to the tire place like 5 times and drummed her fingers on the counter. When the car finally was done- Barry came and talked to Ken (clearing avoiding me) about the tires on my car. Apparently, they're pretty bad. He said they were below legal limits. Yikes. (BIKES! Mr. Colson rocks my world.) He gave us a receipt with a checklist of everything they did. "Other Patty" got a hold of it. And flipped out. "Yeah right they washed the windshield." "Vacuum carpet? Ah- no. Turn around- we're going back." Sweet Ken just grins and bears it and tells me to calm down and act normal. He doesn't get that it IS normal for "Other Patty." She's bad. She laid on her horn and gave someone the bird on the way to work this morning because they wouldn't let her pass. Jerk. Also, if you have any suggestions on what to call "Other Patty" let us know. I don't like her disgracing my good name.


Karlenn said...

That is so funny! You're becoming addicted to confrontation! Who knew??? Ken is so me, and Ben is so you. Ben is always snapping at people who aren't doing their jobs, or who are doing a poor job, and I'm always the one grabbing his hand and dragging him away, saying, "It's okay, honey, it's not a big deal..."

Heath Family said...


Ken to so good for you...oops. I mean the "Other Patty". Sorry no suggestions. I stopped getting my oil changed at Walmart because everytime I went I'd get a flat tire afterwards.